t: Anybody need a sign???
> By Andy Rooney
>
> "Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
> That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
> anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't
see
> your sign."
>
> It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes
and
> there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and
> says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice
> a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
>
> A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we
pulled
> his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass
and
> this idiot on the dock goes, ! "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope.
> Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
>
> I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There
> was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to
test
> it. "All right, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...
They
> want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it
hurts
> when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't
wanna
> lose it."
>
> Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
> side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
> truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
> resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three
just
> swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
>
> We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to
the
> house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to
the
> house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust
pipe,
> then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I
> could have stopped him.
>
> I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't
you
> know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
> couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help
and
> eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through
his
> basic questioning ..okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was
clear
> of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I
> couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and
then
> back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge...here's your
sign."
>
> I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and
said,
> "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago.
> Here's your sign."
> By Andy Rooney
>
> "Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid".
> That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
> anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't
see
> your sign."
>
> It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes
and
> there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and
> says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice
> a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
>
> A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we
pulled
> his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass
and
> this idiot on the dock goes, ! "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope.
> Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
>
> I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
There
> was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to
test
> it. "All right, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...
They
> want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it
hurts
> when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't
wanna
> lose it."
>
> Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
> side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
> truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
> resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three
just
> swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
>
> We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to
the
> house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to
the
> house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust
pipe,
> then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I
> could have stopped him.
>
> I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't
you
> know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
> couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help
and
> eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through
his
> basic questioning ..okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was
clear
> of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I
> couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and
then
> back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge...here's your
sign."
>
> I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and
said,
> "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago.
> Here's your sign."
