Wedding Speech?

[dix]

I was left a note tonight requesting me to give a toast at my brother's wedding tomorrow. Mind you, he never personally asked me to give the toast, but rather left a message via my mother. I'm not in the wedding party, yet he expects me to make this toast!! Please give me some ideas on how I can give a toast and completely embarass him tomorrow.:p

 

[VintageDirt]

Here's to my sister, who has been like a brother to me ever since the sex change operation.

 

[bwalker]

Dix, Heres what I would do. Go to the store buy a a pint and a fifth of Hartleys brandy or some other rot gut( you know, like the crap we drank in school). Drink the pint and scribble a few lines on a piece of scrap paper. Before you have to give the speach consume the fifth, look at the scrap paper and ad lib it. I am sure you will embarass the crap out of him. BTW Why didnt I get a invite, this one of them high class affairs.:p

 

[bwalker]

Funny VD.

 

[VintageDirt]

Nothing funny about VD.

 

[JuliusPleaser]

Originally posted by VintageDirt
Nothing funny about VD.

I beg to differ. If it weren't for VD, I'd have nothing to laugh at.

 

[XRpredator]

Originally posted by Julius Pleaser
I beg to differ. If it weren't for VD, I'd have nothing to laugh at.

I agree, JP, though I laugh at other stuff, I laugh hardest at VD! :p

 

[dix]

Just got back from the wedding reception, and the speech was a success. I was ultimatly pissed off howver, that the bride's brother had a nasty comment afterwards. I guess he was a little upset that I didn't have the lovey dovey BS speech that he did. I wasn't informed of this until my way home from the reception. I guess that was probably a good thing, as I would have tossed a few hay-makers his way. Snotty little *******!!

 

[a454elk]

Pictures from the youth are always a plus, specially the naked ones!! The future wife needs to know about EVERYTHING, even the pictures with farm animals!
Elk

 

[rdix]

What were the brother's comments?

 

[dix]

Something to the effect of......that's typical of a Dix!

 

[Jamir]

You should have kept it simple. I used to DJ and at a very redneck wedding reception, the brides mother got up with a Marlboro in one hand and a Milwaukee's Best in the other and graciously stated, "Marriage is about honor.......get on 'er and stay on 'er" The night was all down hill from there!