Welcome to Texas

Kick Texas or California out of the US?

  • Total voters
    169
D

Danman

LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 7, 2000
2,208
3
I drove through the top part of Texas once on the way to Arizona. I was ready to slit my wrists due to the endless miles of topographic void, but I was only 16 at the time, and decided that driving for 24 hours straight had made me delusional
Click to expand...

You must have driven I-40. Don't worry the whole state does not look like that. Thank God. That is only a small part of the state. I lived in Amarillo and hated it when I first got there, Still not to fond of it. I live south of there now and it's much better. The interesting Terrain does not start you get out of the panhandle. I was raised in San Antonio and Dallas. I think living in West Texas definiatly takes some getting used to as the climate and and terrain are total different, but as far as riding in West Texas goes its great. Especialy in and around the Cap Rock. :thumb: You have to take the bad with the good and there is nothing atractive about a cotton feild except when its full of Cotton, but the pretty parts of the state make up for the void that is around the panhandle.

Not even going to touch the college sports deal :ugg:
 

zio

Mr. Atlas
Jul 28, 2000
2,284
0
Smit-Dog, you have TWO! You should be the one with your state tattoed on your buttocks.

I think I know why Texans are famous for their cattle ranches- they just can't stop staring at the size of the testicles on a bull. They don't raise a lot of cattle for the money, they just like watching the bulls & cows "do it." I'll admit, I'm impressed too. And I've done more than my fair share of bull-ball-gazing. You ever wonder what percentage of their body weight is in the sack? Surely it's a higher percentage than man's.
 
M

Mac

LIFETIME SPONSOR
May 17, 2000
505
0
I'm starting a petition to have New Hampshire moved from the North East. We are a red state in a sea of blue.

Yoose guys have any room near Texas for another state?
 
D

Danman

LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 7, 2000
2,208
3
Zio your a strange man. Not any stranger that the guy that figured that after you remove them from the cow you should fry them and eat them. Calf Fries is what they are called.
 

zio

Mr. Atlas
Jul 28, 2000
2,284
0
next time we see each other, ask me about Antonio Banderas, Watler Matthau, a horse & a pig
 

XRpredator

AssClown SuperPowers
Damn Yankees
Aug 2, 2000
13,504
19
zio said:
. . . You ever wonder what percentage of their body weight is in the sack?
Click to expand...
I never used to . . .

damn these thoughts in my head! :ugg:
 
J

joereitman

Member
Jul 2, 2003
540
0
Tony- speaking of mules, here's a joke I found and emailed to my brother earlier today while researching Kaw Mules; enjoy:

"An old hillbilly [insert "Texas"] farmer [insert "Rancher"] had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From
morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.
Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something
about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod
my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
 

Tony Eeds

Godspeed Tony.
N. Texas SP
Jun 9, 2002
9,535
0
ROTFLMAO :laugh:

Excuse me, I need to clean my computer screen!
 

slo' mo

slower than slow...
LIFETIME SPONSOR
May 5, 2000
1,425
0
Mac said:
Yoose guys have any room near Texas for another state?
Click to expand...

Should read "Y'all have any room for nuther county in the Panhandle?" You may come live here, but Dubyah sez loose tha funny accent! :p
 

Tony Eeds

Godspeed Tony.
N. Texas SP
Jun 9, 2002
9,535
0
ktmboy said:
The plural for y'all isY'all!
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Close, but no cigar .... it's all y'all :laugh:

BTW - Why didn't you make it to Reno!?!?!?!? You are AT LEAST 24 hours closer! :thumb:
 

Tony Eeds

Godspeed Tony.
N. Texas SP
Jun 9, 2002
9,535
0

Zio, did you ever try cow tipping while you were here? Great fun!
 

Tony Eeds

Godspeed Tony.
N. Texas SP
Jun 9, 2002
9,535
0
only 8 out of 25 :whiner:
 
D

Danman

LIFETIME SPONSOR
Nov 7, 2000
2,208
3
Joe

I totaly Flunked that one with a whooping 42%
 
Last edited:

evenslower

~SPONSOR~
N. Texas SP
Nov 7, 2001
1,234
0
75% on the miss kitty quiz. Should be titled southerner quiz stead of redneck.
 
J

joereitman

Member
Jul 2, 2003
540
0
Danman- don't feel bad- my 66% was a D . I am ashamed. :(

Evenslower- not bad... :) It is more of a deep south quiz, isn't it?
 

evenslower

~SPONSOR~
N. Texas SP
Nov 7, 2001
1,234
0
You said it joe, my wife still thinks that when I moved her to Dallas we moved "up-north". I doubt I'll get her any farther north than this though.
 
J

joereitman

Member
Jul 2, 2003
540
0
evenslower- where is she from originally?

My better half harkens from SA, doesn't let me fergit it! :)
 

Tony Eeds

Godspeed Tony.
N. Texas SP
Jun 9, 2002
9,535
0
evenslower said:
You said it joe, my wife still thinks that when I moved her to Dallas we moved "up-north". I doubt I'll get her any farther north than this though.
Click to expand...

your NORTH of me .... :p anything across 635 is too far north for my blood.
 

zio

Mr. Atlas
Jul 28, 2000
2,284
0
I've never touched a cow. I'm quite scared of horses. Same goes for pigs and goats. Most farm animals scare me or creep me out. I'm down with dogs, cats, and goldfish.
 
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