Senior KX Rider
Super Power AssClown
- Nov 9, 1999
- 8,575
- 0
:thumb:
life is a dog...and I am it's chew toy
- Thread starter Jamir
- Start date
There you go Thunder! Keep your chin up and when all else fails, "get back to the basics". Find what ever it is (riding) that you enjoyed (riding) doing prior to the (riding) onset of pain (riding) and exploit the (riding) activity (riding). May I suggest you try going for a ride? Good luck and I hope you're feeling better soon!
I'm not sure a person has complete control over every emotion, but they do have complete control over every situation they encounter. Jamie, don't look for your silver lining...MAKE your silver lining!
Do everything in your power to get out of those situations and aviod getting back into them. If you surround yourself with good people, it's alot harder to get caught in a rough spot.
I don't know the whole story, but man, I would try my hardest to patch things up with the wife. Try to agree that you both need to put the "family" ahead of yourselves as individuals.
But right now, You gotta ride man! I went about 4 weeks without riding this summer, and I was getting bummed too. We were(still are) broke, school had just started back up, my wife and I were having problems trying to have children, and we had medical bills coming out our ears. I was running my butt off trying to handle school and work. I actually decided to sell the bike. But my wife talked me out of it. I finally dropped what I was doing, and went out and rode my bike. Everything seemed to be a little easier to handle after that. It really was that easy.
Hang in there Jamie.
Timr
LIFETIME SPONSOR
- Jul 26, 1999
- 1,972
- 6
T - 33 said: "I will still be looking for a place to live and all but at least I can have things to look forward to again! "
I will give you some things to look foward to:
You get the picture.
"Buck up little trooper...we'll beat this thing...together." (Anyone know what movie that quote is from?)
I will give you some things to look foward to:
- DW03 @ Cooperland September 29th, 2003
- Lorreta Lynn's MTDR/VSTA ride in April
- DW03
- DRN ride sometime in spring at LBL
- DW03
- AMA SX starting in Jan
- DW03
You get the picture.
"Buck up little trooper...we'll beat this thing...together." (Anyone know what movie that quote is from?)
- May 5, 2000
- 1,425
- 0
Everyone seems to get down for some reason or another, especially during this time of year. There were times when I was feeling sorry for myself, then I would read about someone else's misfortune, yet they were not going to let it get the best of them. One of the best movies I ever watched was "It's a Wonderful Life". That person in that movie could be any of us. When you stop and think how different the world would be had you never been born, or even how it will affect the world should you choose to go away, you can see just how many lives yours has touched.
Case in point - think about Lance Armstrong. He had all the right reasons to just throw in the towel and hate the world. Yet because he chose not to let destiny control him, he decided to control his destiny. He has given so many others hope and proven they can change tough situations to their benefit.
You've got a big family here. Make some calls, Lou has extra rides. Take a walk into the less fortunate part of town and look around. Try buying yourself a gift, something you have always wanted. Then give it away to someone who you don't know but suspect couldn't afford it. Doesn't matter what it is or how much it costs. You'll be surprised at how you feel when you give something of yourself. That's when you touch other's lives. That's what this season is all about. (how easily we forget) :ugg:
Case in point - think about Lance Armstrong. He had all the right reasons to just throw in the towel and hate the world. Yet because he chose not to let destiny control him, he decided to control his destiny. He has given so many others hope and proven they can change tough situations to their benefit.
You've got a big family here. Make some calls, Lou has extra rides. Take a walk into the less fortunate part of town and look around. Try buying yourself a gift, something you have always wanted. Then give it away to someone who you don't know but suspect couldn't afford it. Doesn't matter what it is or how much it costs. You'll be surprised at how you feel when you give something of yourself. That's when you touch other's lives. That's what this season is all about. (how easily we forget) :ugg:
Jamir
I come and go
- Aug 7, 2001
- 1,937
- 0
- Thread starter
- #36
Thanks Cory, I know that nice guys are not supposed to finish last but let me expand here.....not that I want anyone feeling sorry for me....but this will explain why I am so down.....
let me start a few months back.....
I reallized that things were not too good at home. So I confronted my wife, who was 2 months pregnant. I basically told her that we needed to be closer and I did not feel like we were as close as people should be when they are married......simple enough.
Well, she basically told me that she did not want to have to try and harder and mentioned the d-word several times. Then I eventually moved out for a while. Well, I could not handle that. I missed my son and I had to make it work. So I called her and told her that we needed to try somehow to make it work. She agreed. So I was back. We even went to counseling...again..which something that I hate but I had to do everything I could.
So...long story short. The other day I told her that I still felt like it was not working and she told me to find a new place to live. It is simple. She does not want to try. I can not make her try. She pretty much wants to do everything her way and that is all.
This is the Reader's Digest version so there are more details but it gives you and idea of the uphill battle that I am against here.
So being a nice guy has cost me my home, my family, and my dignity....and who knows....probably my bike when it is done.
Now, I am not saying that I am perfect. I have made my mistakes, but for crying out loud, we said for better and for worst. I guess not.
let me start a few months back.....
I reallized that things were not too good at home. So I confronted my wife, who was 2 months pregnant. I basically told her that we needed to be closer and I did not feel like we were as close as people should be when they are married......simple enough.
Well, she basically told me that she did not want to have to try and harder and mentioned the d-word several times. Then I eventually moved out for a while. Well, I could not handle that. I missed my son and I had to make it work. So I called her and told her that we needed to try somehow to make it work. She agreed. So I was back. We even went to counseling...again..which something that I hate but I had to do everything I could.
So...long story short. The other day I told her that I still felt like it was not working and she told me to find a new place to live. It is simple. She does not want to try. I can not make her try. She pretty much wants to do everything her way and that is all.
This is the Reader's Digest version so there are more details but it gives you and idea of the uphill battle that I am against here.
So being a nice guy has cost me my home, my family, and my dignity....and who knows....probably my bike when it is done.
Now, I am not saying that I am perfect. I have made my mistakes, but for crying out loud, we said for better and for worst. I guess not.
CanadianRidr
Sponsoring Member
- Oct 22, 2001
- 2,018
- 0
Oh I know bud :thumb: , I was just trying to emphasize the point :cool:
You didn't cost yourself all that because you were being a nice guy. Your wife has cost you all of that. You are doing (or have done?) everything in your power to save or help the relationship. That is what makes one a winner. You can rest at night knowing you gave it your best...the bad part is...not everything is in our hands. We can't control everything about our lives, no matter how hard we try. That's the part we have to suck up and take the next step in life.
Sept. 1996- Wife tells me she has found her perfect man, he lives two houses over. My daughter (6)sits by the door crying as I load my stuff and go to a dumpy rental to live. The depression is powerful, it doesn't seem like anything you couldn't fight now, but it sure did then. I kissed my *then* wife's but for 10 months, nothing got better( it DOES take two). Then I decided nothing was worse than this, it could only get better. I had no enthusiasm, but forced myself to get out, riding, going to the gym, living again. It didn't turn around all at once, but life gives you back what you give it. I am now remarried, see my daughter almost every other day, other than that my life is better in every way. Don't blame yourself if the first time you try something,i.e. getting married you don't do it perfectly.
B
biglou
Jamie-We're gonna get things fixed. I promise. The bike. I can do that. The relationship is another story. BTW-If you read this before I talk to you again, I got a back tire for you. It ain't new, but it's a HO lot better than that bolony skin you got back there now! ;)
B
biglou
Uh, no. I've seen yours. No offense! Kirby has it. I'll tell him to hold onto it for you. Me, I change tires because I am bored! My knobs are slightly rounded to a .125 radius. Time for the new Maxxis IT!!! ;)
- Jun 5, 2001
- 7,529
- 18
Thunder, sorry I hadn't gotten into this sooner, had my own poop to handle, better late than never. I hear you bro, some at DW know what my situation is, others have no clue. I've been in the same position as you, tired of being the one that always tries, the one that has to initiate everything or it doesn't happen. Being treated like crap and made to think I can't do anything right. That's the time I then went nad played with my 4 year old daughter, she only cares that SHE gets to be barbie. It has it's highs and lows and sometimes it feels like there are too many lows for me to handle. My wife also, does not think she needs to do anything in the relationship. She says that she's faithful and that's all she needs to do. Counseling is a good idea, I'm trying to get her into it right now and I've got the open door cause the 15 year old daughter has to go. I can get our marital stuff to spill over into that forum, I hope.
I can honestly say that sometimes, the only reason I stay is due to my little girl. I felt that I would go through the hell myself to spare her the hell of me not being there. I figure I'd fall on the knife for her. Maybe is't the wrong choice but it's the one I made. Things are always toughest when you make the choice to move out, no doubt. Things WILL and DO get better, see Thump's prior slump. Look at him now, he's got the REAL woman of his dreams. Things are looking up for him and will be for the rest of his life now.
Devote your heart and time to your little one if you choose the moving out road. Do whatever it takes to do that. If you choose to stay and work it out, give it your all, that way if it doesn't work again, you can sya that you tried your best and can hold your head up high. Either way, we are here, just as everyone has said. We really don't care if your socks match or your shirt is inside out, and you can be Barbie if you want to.;)
PM me if you want to talk more or call me at work, I'm a public servant you know. 714-705-6010
Carlo
I can honestly say that sometimes, the only reason I stay is due to my little girl. I felt that I would go through the hell myself to spare her the hell of me not being there. I figure I'd fall on the knife for her. Maybe is't the wrong choice but it's the one I made. Things are always toughest when you make the choice to move out, no doubt. Things WILL and DO get better, see Thump's prior slump. Look at him now, he's got the REAL woman of his dreams. Things are looking up for him and will be for the rest of his life now.
Devote your heart and time to your little one if you choose the moving out road. Do whatever it takes to do that. If you choose to stay and work it out, give it your all, that way if it doesn't work again, you can sya that you tried your best and can hold your head up high. Either way, we are here, just as everyone has said. We really don't care if your socks match or your shirt is inside out, and you can be Barbie if you want to.;)
PM me if you want to talk more or call me at work, I'm a public servant you know. 714-705-6010
Carlo
- Jan 1, 2001
- 3,043
- 9
T33, what Elk said.
I know it's hard man and I'm rooting for ya. I ain't loving life too much these days either. I can still eat the pile-O-poo everyday, but I can't pretend to like it anymore. If I didn't love my kids so much I'd be long gone. Let's all just do the best we can with what we got. Nothin else we can do. Right? :worship: DRN :worship:
Go ride man. And I should take my own advice. :)
I know it's hard man and I'm rooting for ya. I ain't loving life too much these days either. I can still eat the pile-O-poo everyday, but I can't pretend to like it anymore. If I didn't love my kids so much I'd be long gone. Let's all just do the best we can with what we got. Nothin else we can do. Right? :worship: DRN :worship:
Go ride man. And I should take my own advice. :)
