My girlfriend hates dirtbikes. Please help.

[ebony dream]

yeh i agree with that ...wat a shame she had no interest in the things u did relationships are 2 way streets..u dont have to do exactly wat the other does but u accept the different things each person does ..my man doesnt exactly like comming shopping but we make it enjoyable and he gets to spend time with me..i dont neccessarily like going down to his ride days and watch him go crazy on his road bike at rediculous speeds but..its wat he likes to do and i support him plus now im starting to get a lil roadbike fever hehe

 

[Ol'89r]

Now Ol'89r, any tips on finding a keeper?

Mostly luck. I consider myself a very lucky guy to have found my wife.

Just be yourself and do your thing. Let her find you. If you do your own thing you will eventually run into someone that has similar interests. I met my wife at my sponsors house. She was a friend of my sponsors wife. She was willing to follow me from racetrack to racetrack and support me with my racing. In turn, I support her with her horses. She is into horse jumping and dressage and if you think motorcycles are expensive, you ain't seen nutin". :yikes:

A successful relationship takes two people working as a team. Two heads are better than one, especially in todays world. If it is all about her or all about you, it won't work. You have to be willing to bend but still hold on to your values.

If you have a gf that DEMANDS your total attention and is always unhappy, you will never be able to make her happy. It's not up to us to make another person happy if that person doesn't want to be happy. It will only drag you down to her level and neither one of you will be happy. Cut your losses and get out while you can. Let the right one find you. :cool:

I'm certainly not an expert on the subject but I have been married to the same lady for over 40 years.

 

[xsnrg]

The true test of whether a man is willing to give as much as he takes would to be to have a woman who's passion is horses. I think she is the winner in that tradeoff!

 

[jcarautos1]

Wow do you have a sister?

 

[justalonewolf007]

Doesn't always work that way - I have two sisters, and they won't ride. I still can't understand that one...

 

[XRpredator]

Micas,

There's a lot of good advice in here, and a lot of it from women even!

I've been married over 15 years now (dang!) and while I was on a break from dirt bikes when we got married, it didn't take me long to get back into it. She has been hunting with me maybe twice, and is just a little too prone to panic to ride a dirt bike. I guess we've managed to make it work because we understand that we each can have our own hobbies. We have our things together -- lately, both of us volunteer for the ambulance and fire department -- then she has her hobbies and I have my hobbies. She plays pinochle and goes for walks with her friend, I ride dirt bikes and go hunting.

It's worked so far. Maybe your lady just needs a hobby besides you.

 

[Uchytil]

Good luck in this day and age of the easy way out. Married 28 years and guess where we went for our anniversay? Indy SX ( and other hasppening Indy events). Bottom line, IMO, is there must be we, and me, time. Mutual respect of each others interests, and in our case she likes watching MX with me and has gotten to know the riders pretty well. If I were in your shoes I would make sure we had common long term goals, ie. commitment, settle down, travel, savings, house, kids, save the world, whatever. If they align then focus on the little things like riding (you), shopping for furniture (her), blah, blah. Someone said it before - Marriage changes everything so make sure you think you know what your'e doing, and then, at least, you'll be partially right.

 

[Ol'89r]

Marriage changes everything so make sure you think you know what your'e doing, and then, at least, you'll be partially right.

HA! :ohmy: Are you kidding??? :laugh: If he gets married he'll never be right again. :rotfl:

Just kidding ladies. :cool:

 

[gracey]

I was going to say have her read this, but I don't think she'd make it past where he said he'd 'DTB' if she didn't change if it came to that. But, I can only agree with those that posted before me. Reminds me of when I met my wife, she 'sensed' that skiing was something I really enjoyed and if she didn't take to it she'd be history. (she was right, actually). She enthusiastically agreed to go try even though she wasn't into it it at all, and she found (even after a first miserable experience), that she loved to ski too. It is silly to think I probably would have 'moved on' had she not b/c she's absolutely awesome and I couldn't imagine a better life parter, best friend and "mate".
If your girl doesn't fit that bill, you may have bigger issues before you than the fact that she doesn't like you dirtbiking.

You haven't 'gone into it' so perhaps there are things we don't know to give you correct advice.

How about this...you two need to discuss how you're going to handle interests that the other person has/develops in time. It isn't necessary for each of you to love the same things, but if you can't figure out how to compromise, give each other room to be yourselves, and be reasonable in how much time and resource you spend on your 'unshared' interests, you're not going to have a happy future, and dirtbiking will be a small piece of the problem.

Good luck in this day and age of the easy way out. Married 28 years and guess where we went for our anniversay? Indy SX ( and other hasppening Indy events). Bottom line, IMO, is there must be we, and me, time. Mutual respect of each others interests, and in our case she likes watching MX with me and has gotten to know the riders pretty well. If I were in your shoes I would make sure we had common long term goals, ie. commitment, settle down, travel, savings, house, kids, save the world, whatever. If they align then focus on the little things like riding (you), shopping for furniture (her), blah, blah. Someone said it before - Marriage changes everything so make sure you think you know what your'e doing, and then, at least, you'll be partially right.

I concur...

Yeah....mutual respect..... From what I've read here.... It is hard to see that that exists on either side of this equation. sigh. Remember the old days when people actually talked about love in a relationship? Let alone affection.

It's dark times.

 

[Wyoming Kate]

Life is short - do what makes you happy!

Hey Micas,

I'm female, and love riding dirt bikes, snowmachines, and going fishing... go figure... I had to leave a marraige of 23 years, my home, and financial security to go after what I wanted in life...

Either have the guts to give up what you have to in order to get what is the most important to you - - or stop whining!

If a girl has the courage to leave and to ride - I guy sure can!

 

[SIXSIXZERO]

i too lost a gf due to riding. im better off, less distracted and less stressed. i have met a new girl & she is all about it, wich is a huge change for me. so far, she doesnt come to my races or riding, but thats fine. my ride time is my ride time. riding is one of the first things i put on the table when i date. this has been a hobby of mine since i was 5, and am 31 now, so i dont think any changes will be happening any time soon. do what ya do man, if she doesnt like it, hit the road. relationships are built on trust and understanding, sacrafices and interests.
it doesnt sound like she understands you or who you are. i will tell you that im a recovering alcoholic, and riding and racing has been my godsend to help me with this. the motocross community is a very friendly place and most people will help you out in any way they can. they have been a HUGE part of my life and will continue to be, no ifs, ands, or buts. im still on the lookout for that"one". i know ill find her, maybe at a race or a ride, who knows. ive had enough failed relationships to finally say its not worth the headaches or heartbreak. KEEP ON RIDING TILL YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!!!!!! itlll all work out in the end if ya want it to.... :blah:

 

[ebony dream]

to me its all about compromise....u both need ur time together and u both need ur time apart...seriously sit down and talk to her about it..tell her how passionate u are about riding...and that its ur time to chill and let loose and when ur not riding u can have ur time together ...sort it out that way maybe before u just up and leave cuz she doesnt like it...relationships are about working things out. if u can come to some sort of agreemant that makes her happy and u happy its a win win situation

 

[mtk]

Or you could just cut to the chase, dump her, and move on.

That's where you'll end up anyway, this method just saves you a lot of time and headaches.

 

[Hergert521]

One guy I dated thought it was cool he had a girlfriend that rode a dirtbike. The last guy I dated however was a different story, when we stopped dating he told me that I needed to find a guy that was really into motorcycle riding, among other things. He said I spent too much time on motorcycle related things, such as hanging out at my friends land while they rode all day. finding someone who shares the same interests like the great sport of motocross is an important thing!

 

[DannyB728]

Im with BigRed on this one, time to ****can her and get a new one who shares your intrests or at least keeps her mouth shut and understands that its a sickness that cant be cured.

 

[ebony dream]

lol u men...its just easier to get rid of thm huh...lol

 

[JediRye]

I found this thread and laughed because my boyfriend is the one who doesn't really like riding!

However, after buying a second bike so I won't always be riding alone, he is slowly adapting but honestly, I think my grandma would go faster. It's funny because I just made a post on another forum about how my kx250f almost blew up. My boyfriend was riding it, and I later found out it was because he was riding so slow, no air was going through the radiator and it overheated causing pressurized steam and antifreeze to shoot out of the overflow (looking like it was going to blow). One step at a time!

-rye

 

[abrocks22]

you guys should throw like a BBQ at the track before you and the guys ride. She will be forced to be there and you could show here what its really like. Show her a lap or two then take her home. dont push it too much but let her see what it means to yuo

 

[dice_jay]

oh memories........I had a KX 250 when my current wife and I got together. that was 300 years or so now (12 actually) She made me sell my bike. I played "by the rules" for a lot of years and was very unhappy. Forget the advice from people that tell you to bribe her and such. Relationships are about understanding and patience. If it's meant to be, then she'll accept it. I came home with a new RC airplane one day and she freaked!! At that point, I had enough and just told her, I am who I am and I won't change that for anybody, if you want somebody else than go find him and that I'd GIVE her all the assets just to walk away. As of today, she actually buys me RC planes. When I told her I was buying a second dirtbike she just gave me the "tisk" then asked me if I wanted any new gear because my birthday was coming up. She also came with me to pick up the Yamaha Viper 700 sled I don't need either. Be who you are, but remember that it is a two way street.

 

[Girlsride2]

Well I am a women rider and do not have a cure cuz there isn't one. I do feel no man nor women should have to change period, if you truely love to ride you will find a way to compromise or things may end not so great .Ok this may sound corny but just follow your heart thats what I do and I know I am a girl and guys think we are all musshy and stuff but I am still single cuz they want me to change and theres no way in hell I will change for anyone nor should you. Well good luck and I hope all goes well with all your issues!

 

[ptit714]

So I was thinking about a resolution or some way to help. I love dirtbikes, I ride w/my husband all the time. Maybe that's just not her thing though. A possibility however, is to make her feel like she is involved when you go riding. Tell her to find a friend of hers to go out w/you guys so she has someone she knows there to chill with. Then tell her you want to get some cool shots on your bike or a kick ass video of you riding & you need her help to shoot it or get the pictures. Then she'll feel needed & wanted & more like she's helping you accomplish something rather than just feeling like a 3rd wheel because that's the only way she can see you is by sitting around while you ride. I dunno, just a thought.

 

[sharky243]

Get rid of the girlfriend if she won't let you do the things you love. It's a 2-way street and she may need to learn that the hard way.

 

[nsxxtreme]

I think the idea of bribing her to go out is a good one. I try to involve my girlfriend in everything I do. I purchased her her own crf150r and she enjoys riding it. You at least have to make the effort to involve her. If she still has the same attitude I agree DTB. If she makes no effort to understand then she is not worth keeping. Relationships are two way streets if their is no effort to understand what is important to both people the relationship will not work out. I have been with my girlfriend for 14 years now something I am doing must be working.

The important thing is to try and get her involved. She needs to feel like she is still important to you even when your out doing your thing. Even if she isn't out there riding with you.

 

[NoSlowBike]

You don't have to find one that loves the sport. You just need to find the one that understands what makes you happy. My wife couldn't care less about the bikes, guns, trucks or cars that I have but she knows it makes me happy to do it. She hangs out in the garage and helps me or just hangs out wile I am doing what I do. She knows I work 70-100 hours a week to pay the bills so she understands that she is my entire world but there are other things in it as well. If she decided to tell me that she didn't want me to do any of it, i would be the end of 13 years together and 7 years married. She often times reminds me that there was something I wanted to order for something I am working on. Does it get any better than that? Oh yeah, she's hot and a damn good cook too.

Phil

 

[NikkiG28]

I'm a wife and a rider. I hated riding for a lil while until I went into the woods with my husband and son. Since then you can't get me out of the woods until my tank is empty! We both have our time out too, some days he goes with his friends and some days I go with them we always figure it out together. If she won't go with you then she really can't complain about it, don't knock it till you try it!!! I hope you can figure it out like we did.