Worthless parents!

[Patman]

Why sign your kid up for a sport KNOWING that practice is during the week and games are on Saturday with no intention of getting them to practice either on time or at all?! It's no big secret that their practice will start somewhere between 5:00 and 5:30pm so if you have a 45 minute drive WHY commit?! Why force your kid to do something like this they obviously don't want to do? What am I talking about? My son is playing soccer, he is a fairly good player but only because he puts in th effort to practice at home and at formal practice. (Heck he just started last fall and the coach is calling him his star player.) We get there a few minutes early and stick around until everyone is gone just to get a little extra time in. On the other side of the coin we have kids that show up 15-30 minutes late for a 60 minute practice! Kids that refuse to tie their $100 cleats they HAD to have, kids that don't want to run, kids that don't pay attention to the coach, etc... As an added bonus almost no parents stick around for practice, they go have coffee, shop, whatever and then return (late) to pick their kid up thinking it's a babysitting service!!! These are also the same people that will be late for the game and then complain when the team does poorly. They will also gripe that "Junior" isn't getting to play long enough. Well "Junior" does't like to practice, run, or do what he's instructed to do so "Junior" SUCKS and drags the kids that want to play down with his loser attitude! I can hardly imagine how hacked off the team coach gets because I'm just a parent and will help if he needs it. :mad: Yeah it's all about having fun but it's NOT about just your kid.

 

[txvintage]

Patman, wait until 'lil Patman is old enough for Club/Select Soccer. We here in the Northern section of the state have managed to turn youth soccer into a multi-million dollar past time in the DFW area.

An old coach's joke;

Q: " You know what makes a perfect soccer team? "

A: " Eleven orphans."

 

[XRpredator]

I hear ya, Pat. Things like that have gotten my kid more uninvolved in activities (we'll go do stuff on our own instead). At least the wrestling and <GAG> soccer program is pretty well run around here, so Predator2 enjoys that (even though I can't stand the sport!).

I just don't get it, whether it be wrestling, soccer, tee-ball, cub scouts, or whatever, either the parents just drop their kids off (the aforementioned babysitter service) or they get waaaaay too involved (kinda like mini-dads!).

I'm glad we have our own activities. :)

 

[CR Swade]

Het Patman I've got some quick questions/points to your topic-no flame on you per se...

Just how old are these kids? If these are older teens, let the cream rise to the top. The competition should get a little tougher. If we are talking about 10 and under, this is exactly why I am against, yeah against, non-school sponsored sports leagues. These leagues are either poorly-run w/ poor fundamentals taught or completely gung-ho total domination of your opponent. Just like the Pop Warner football league that had kids lying about age so they could play younger kids here in KC-it was fine until one of the little ones got hurt-in fact he died.

Again if these are 6, 7 and 8 year olds-guess what, they aren't going to listen. They aren't going to want to run. I didn't particularly want to run in football, wrestling and track. I didn't always listen. But is sure as heck wasn't my parents fault. It was my fault. I was just a kid being a kid. I eventually grew into a decent competitor.

So what if somebodies kid shows 15 minutes late. Was it your kid, if not relax. It's just soccer/baseball/t-ball/whatever. Let the kids be kids. Besides, that is what separates the pack-they can't all be stars.

Lastly, why on earth does a youth soccer league need to be a multi-million dollar organization? Talk about undue pressure for kids that haven't even got hair one or a pimple to pop, but they sure as heck better perform to keep those league dues rolling...yeah we all need to get a grip. :think

 

[TWRT]

where is the training program you must pass in order to be a parent? just because you are able to have children, does not mean you are responsible enough to have children. having children is a LIFE TIME commitment. irresponsible parents raise irresponsible children (well, most of the time). our children deserve better. we need to listen to our children and try to be good examples (it aint easy...)

i'll get down off of my high horse now.....

 

[CR Swade]

I totally agree That is why from the early stages to first few years in grade school, the fundamentals should be learning manners, respect, logic skills, the basic fundamentals that lead to a disciplined and thourough competitor in whatever the young person so chooses to do as they get older.

Do you honestly believe that getting to soccer practice early and staying late as opposed to learning to read properly as well as understand the sciences going on around them at that young age is more important? A keen competitor is one who is stonger of mind and character first-the coordination and discipline for the sport ar the rewards.

I don't particularly care who thinks I'm wrong. My oldest (7) is very gifted athetically. But he is also very gifted in thought as are my other boys. We have made it a point to structure around character first, sports second. And right now, I don't see that many great character examples in the pee-wee sports ranks. Sorry, this hit a nerve.

 

[Patman]

It matters that everyone be there on time and ready to play because it impacts all the team trying to bring Junior Tardy up to where everyone else is at in practice. It shows respect for the coach that volunteers his time. What makes Junior Tardy so special that he can always show up late yet expect the same play time as the ones that show up on time and practice hard because they want to do well? We hve 10 kids on the team and they play 8 in a game. Well last night we had 7 and one kid has yet to even show up for a practice. The coach had 5 practice balls and his cones, each player is expected to have a ball and shin guards. We had 7 player balls and 5 were FLAT. Out of 1 legs we had 11 shin guards. Mind you the balls that were flat were the $50-$100 pro level balls that will make Junior a star :silly:

 

[txvintage]

Originally posted by CR Swade
Lastly, why on earth does a youth soccer league need to be a multi-million dollar organization? Talk about undue pressure for kids that haven't even got hair one or a pimple to pop, but they sure as heck better perform to keep those league dues rolling...yeah we all need to get a grip. :think

Well, there are two avenues for kids to play soccer here. There is the city, or recreational, league where every kid that wants to play pays his/her $40 and someones dad coaches them. Everyone plays at least half the game and treats are handed out afterwards. It's a great time and provided many cherished memories for us.

We also have a club system here. It consists of private organizations with teams ranging in age from under 11 through under 19. The coaches are nationally, hell some internationally, licensed. Most clubs have former World Cup, International, professional level players and coaches as skills coaches and or directors of coaching.

Not everyone gets to play on these teams. You have to try out and make it. Honestly, there is a level of politics involved and it helps if your kids abilities are somewhat known and you can be "invited" to try out. More thatn just a kids skill comes into play here. The club my daughter plays for interviews both the kid and parents about the level of committment they are making if a kid is selected. It's not just a finacial committment (1-2K per year per player) but a serious time committement as well. You will play around 50 games a year and practice at least 3-4 hours a week.

These teams are a business, and you can't let that be forgotten. Our coach makes hundreds of dollars a month just to coach 11 yr old girls and he knows he can be fired.

Before you flame away at me, I ask if you are a parent. If so, even if not imagine that you were, and Team Green called you up and wanted to back your 11 yr old for serious amatur MX. Also believe that it's what your kid lives for. Trust me, by the time you buy the bike, pay the travel and living, and so on, you would spend much more than club soccer costs. I venture to say that you would want to give you kid every oppoirtunity provided he wanted to do it.

My daughter spends her free time on off days playing the game or working on skills. It's her choice, not ours. We even have to limit her in an effort to make sure she spends time just being a kid.

Believe me, I have seen some really dark side to youth sports as a kid and as a parent. I can't stand the parent that screams from the side line at their kid/coach/ref. I also can't stand the parent that wants the team to be a baby sitter while they ignore what their kid is doing. I don't miss practice or games unless it's absolutely necessary, and never will both my wife and I miss one.

It's a fine line and one I wish every parent with a kid in sports would give the utmost attention to.

 

[CR Swade]

Exactly, volunteer time. You guys aren't playing for the World Cup. How old are they? I'm serious Patman, I'm not bashing you. We agree on character issues here, I just don't agree on how we teach 10 year old and under the basic fundamentals of how to be a productive citizen. That is what is at the root of this...not being a productive participant. Guess what, those qualities are taught at home instead of parents trying to hit three different sporting leagues for three different kids.

That is one of the reasons I am not a fan of junior sports leagues-not to metion the late night tourneys,over bearing dads/moms, etc. etc.

I'd be willing to bet these are 7 or 8 year olds from the behavior you're describing...I could be wrong (I am many times):confused:

 

[Patman]

CRS I agree that manners, respect, logic, and school work come first, and they do at our house for sure. Sports are a privelige at Rancho del Patman. My son may have a higher level of discipline than most kids his age since he's also a 2nd degree black belt in TaeKWonDo and I and my wife expect him to behave reasonably. Kids need to be kids and goof off but they need to do it on their own time or their parents time not on somebody elses time. My son is the biggest smartalik you've seen (go figure) BUT he knows there is a time and place for being focused. I'm quite sure that these same people would be upset if they were kept waiting or felt somebody was wasting "their" time for something they were involved with. It all boils down to respect for others and yourself.

9 & 10 year olds.

 

[CR Swade]

Originally posted by Patman
It all boils down to respect for others and yourself.

9 & 10 year olds.

Ditto; so I was off a year. Told you I was probably wrong. ;)

 

[CR Swade]

Originally posted by txvintage


We also have a club system here. It consists of private organizations with teams ranging in age from under 11 through under 19. The coaches are nationally, hell some internationally, licensed. Most clubs have former World Cup, International, professional level players and coaches as skills coaches and or directors of coaching.

It's a fine line and one I wish every parent with a kid in sports would give the utmost attention to.

Wow txvintage! I didn't get to see your post before replying to Patman. The league that you have sounds as if it is more for teens as opposed to ultra young participants-which is cool. I actually don't have a problem with that level of competition once the kids are old enough to be able to handle it (the sink or swim theory). That is what I meant by only favoring school sponsored programs above: it's not so much a school thing but a program available at that age, which is usually jr high/high school. I hope that made sense.

Once old enough, game on I say! With the little tykes, I guess I just see it differently.

 

[BunduBasher]

Try coaching as well Patman, this can even be worse, kids don't turn up for practice, skip a game or two, and add to that Parents who think you are nothing, I have coached for a number od seasons, and the stress is not funny. This spring is the first time I am taking a break, my son too, we are going to ride Saturdays and get some Sunday School time on Sunday. The local organization is a joke, schedule games on Saturday and Sunday for 6 weeks in a row. My boy loves the game and is pretty good, still enough is enough :ugg:

 

[IBWFO]

At least there are still parents like you!
You are in a pretty common situation. Seems much, if not all of the problem lies with the coach. We had the same situation with my son, but we had enough of the parents complain, that the coach sent a letter home with each child listing a set of rules that must be followed if the kids wanted to play on the team. One of the rules was that if you were late to practice you didn't get to play until the second half if at all. Another rule was that if the child came without a ball or proper clothing/uniform they sat on the bench.
Most of the parents abided by the rules, however some continued to be late and sent the kids without the proper uniform. All it took was for the kids to sit out a few games before they started cmplaining to thier parents and things turned around. I will admit there were some that quit, but then they weren't team players anyway.
It's amazing how some parents are, and we wonder why kids are having a problem nowdays!

D

 

[Patman]

Yup BB I can really understand how it would be a real downer coaching with lackluster support. That's one of my points. The coach is giving his time the least these slugs should do is make their commitment on getting the kid to the practice and games in a timely manner. I think I may coach in the fall just to tweak some of the slackers off I'll have the first practice be a kid & parent practice!:p Then tell each of them that I EXPECT them to be curtious enough to have their kid at practice on time, to pick them up at the end of practice and be sure their ball is properly inflated. I think explaining to them that each minute they are late Junior loses a minute of playing time in the game, that I will offer the option of babysitting when the designated practice is over at $5/minute, and the tire pump is free to use on site but they need to get there before practice because I'll lock it in my truck. We had a really great team last fall, most of the kids were excited to play and by some strange happenstance we had 3 really good players and my son took up with them so he improved because of their abilities. They don't have to win but some effort is expected.

 

[Patman]

But what will you do when Ivan/Ivana asks to play? I think that's how a lot of kids get involved because if the parents had wanted it they would be more involved themselves. Heck I didn't know jack about soccer and still have a lot to learn but it's something Brandon wanted to do so I'm going to provide the best support I can.

 

[BunduBasher]

not learn from other kids, parents and coaches how to be stupid (no offense Bundu

No offense taken, fortunately most of the parents and kids have been great, and if you have a good team with coach and parent involvement the experience can be very worthwhile - hopefully the kids I have coached have not only learned something about the game, but about themselves and teamwork as well. The good news is, that some of the kids have had such a great time, I have had calls from the parents asking that I coach their kids again, so there is a positive side.

Besides, if your kid is ever going to play for the USA in world cup soccer, they had better start young :p

 

[txvintage]

If there is one change I would make to very young kids athletics I would have overly zealous parents who are heckling their own, or any one elses, 8 yr old kid executed at mid field during half time.

Hey Patman, is you aon in AOK or ATA for his Tae Kwon Do? Munchkin here is not far from Brown 3 if we can figure out how to balance everything and figure out how to find time to be a kid.

I really worry about her getting over extended.......................

 

[oldguy]

Strikes close to home for us

Thekid is very into almost any sport around and we have gone thru the Tball, baseball, football, basketball and soccer legues. We also have gone thru Taikwando and motorcycles. The result if he wants to try it he is made aware that he is going to be committed (as we are) thru the entire season. the only sport he decided he didn't enjoy was Basketball (must be hereditary) and when he wanted to quit the answer was no. When he decided to goof off at practice the answer was running laps. He learned to listen do his best and not sign up the next season.
At several times I coached teams to pay back other parents who had done it before for us. The one thing around here is most parents will join in if encouraged by giving them easy assignments. Most are afraid to stick around during practice in fear they will be asked to do something they don't know . Trudy even coached flag football one season when no one else would do it and her team went undefeated and won the league title (before the first practice she made it clear to all the dads that she didn't know anything about football and to be competitive the dads had to help out)
In the end there are 3 types of people in these sports
1) parents who never played or were good living thru their kids and force their kids to be there
2)kids who love sports and want to be there but have parents who could care less
3)kids who love sports with parents who love their kids and will do what they can to help them find their level and strive to beat it

You never find a team of all #3's:whiner:

 

[ballistic]

the coach needs to enforce a team discipline and culture that does not permit or tolerate being late, poor attitude, etc. This speaks directly to the parents. On my 9 year olds team the coach is well liked and very fair, and disciplined. The standard culture around here is COMMITTMENT, and this falls onto the parents as much as the kids. Being late for games or practice is rare. By the way, our team is good as a result of...yes... COMMITTMENT. Sorry to preach, but this stuff is important.

 

[Patman]

ITA - International TaeKwonDo Alliance. He's been doing it since he was 4 1/2 and now is the man to beat in lightweight sparring and forms. Got parents complaining to the Master about him always winning and how he should be moved up. But he can't do that until he's 10 because of the ITA rules and within 4 months the complainers kids will be moved up as well :p We already moved up to an orange board (10-12 year old) because he was kicking the board holders on the yellow board. The Master is considering letting him go to a green since he consistantly breaks the orange.:confused: Olympics are a very strong possibility, but only if he chooses to stay with it.

We worry about him getting spread too thin and limit him to only 2 activities. TKD was a HUGE investment of time but now he's got such a long run between testing that it's pretty easy to work in another activity of his choice. We force nothing it all is his choice but once he chooses to do it he has to see the cycle/season through.

 

[Hucker]

I guess hockey isn't a big eal down in the states, but up here, when you turn 5, you play hockey. :) I've played hockey since I was 5, I'm now 25, holy crap 20 years. I guess it all depends on the league itself. Some leagues, like your local Kiwanis clubs are more of a house league based program, but still very competitive. Triple A, travelling teams, Junior B, Junior A is where alot of the pressure is. I was asked to try out for the Junior B team, but after about 3 practices found out it just wasn't fun anymore. So I quit, haven't regretted it since. If the sports not fun, the kids aren't going to play.

 

[Smitty]

Soccer Coaches & Parents

I played soccer from 5 or 6 all the way until I was 15 or so. I had a lot of great coaches and my parents were great with support (still are.) One of my favorite coaches (under 12 rec. league) was a Nigerian father of one of my friends. Great understanding of the game, good teacher, and was very enthusiastic about us having fun and playing with good skills. Had a blast! Our pre game chant was (Heavy Nigerian Accent) “Whose ball IT is?” After those seasons I tried out and fought through the politics to play on a Classic team like Lou described. My coach was a doctor who had that wise, authoritative style who expected more out of you than you thought you had. He could make you run till you puke and nitpick you until you hated him. Thing was you knew he was making you better and he didn’t use an aggressive, abusive style more of the pull you aside and tell you just to do what he had taught. After two seasons with him I had learned a lot about myself and had done a lot of physical things I doubted I could do.

My parents never missed games and would let me blast my ball off the side of the house while the dishes rattled for hours. Good parents should attend, be on time, and be interested in the activity not the outcome. My dad still comes to 90% of my races and we talk strategy, tuning, and skills 2 or 3 times a week and he’s never ridden offroad.

There’s a ramble for ya.

 

[BunduBasher]

(Heavy Nigerian Accent) “Whose ball IT is?”

WHOOZ BOLL EEZ EAT !

Must be an African thing, this is the chant I use with my kids before the game "Who's ball is it ?" and the reply "Our ball" :)

 

[Smitty]

Exactly! Only reverse "is" and "it" to "it is?" Still love that! :)