Welcome to Texas

[BunduBasher]

for Tony Eeds :p

Applies to each person as they enter Texas. Learn 'em & remember 'em.

East Coast and California-types pay particular attention!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Pace Picante Sauce. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... It AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio.... and real chili never met a tomato!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, it will get your butt whipped by the best.
17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas."

GOD BLESS TEXAS!!!

 

[zio]

Okay, I saw the fiberglass swimming pool on the side of I-40 (or was it 35?) on the way from Tyler to Dallas, in the shape of Texas. I saw the pickup with thge windows of the extra-cab framed by the shape of Texas. Everything there is in the shape of Texas. So why, then, when you go to Tennessee, isn't everything in the shape of Tennessee? What about Ohio, or Maryland? Is it about size? Because Alaska is bigger.

Why doesn't Kansas have a list like the one Alan posted? Or Iowa? I've been to Oklahoma, and to me it's EXACTLY like Texas, but don't the two states hate each other? What about the farmer who has a huge farm on the border, and some of his farm is in Oklahoma and the rest in Texas? Do Kentucky and Tennessee fight like Olkahoma and Texas?

I don't think California has a list. We can't, because it's so different all over. The valley, where I live, is mostly farm land. The coast isn't as populated as most people think. Much of it is jagged cliff, with a few small towns inbetween San Diego, L.A., Monterey/Santa Cruz, and San Francisdo. Fresno is more like the midwest than it is like San Francisco. And the Silicon Valley isn't anything like Eureka. Maybe our list would be like this:

In California-
1) We got everything. Go home.

 

[CR Swade]

In California-
1) We got everything. Go home.

:laugh:

 

[slo' mo]

In California-
1) We got everything. Go home.

Yes, but can you step outside and bust off a few rounds w/o people like Elk carting you away?

 

[zio]

Hang on. Let me go out side & unload a clip & see.

 

[VintageDirt]

Hang on. Let me go out side & unload a clip & see.

You mean magazine, right?

 

[Casper250]

You can thank us Islanders for our Long Island Iced Tea then.

 

[Danman]

I've been to Oklahoma, and to me it's EXACTLY like Texas

Somebody remind me to slap a knot on Zio's head at DW04. :moon: :p

Oklahoma is only partly like Texas. Go farther south or West and you will not find any hint of OK.

We like the shape of Texas just because. Can you think of a better reason? I think the Texas flag was made in such a simple way with only three colors just so you could paint it on anything you want to.

Framing the windows on your extended cab truck just would not look in the shape of any other state IMO. Our state has a very distinctive shape.

 

[zio]

Somebody remind me to slap a knot on Zio's head at DW04. :moon: :p

Why are you going to put a knot on my head? Do you mean a noose? Are you "fixing" to hang me? You Texans are a mean bunch of "cowboys".

Our state has a very distinctive shape.

So does Louisiana. Wyoming would be easy, because it's pretty much square. But really, I think the rest of the states would appreciate if "you all" would stop using your state on everything. Poor Delaware just isn't getting any respect these days.

 

[zio]

You mean magazine, right?

No, I mean clip.


n.
1) Any of various devices for gripping or holding things together; a clasp or fastener.
2) A piece of jewelry that fastens with a clasp or clip; a brooch.
3) A cartridge clip. :p

 

[zio]

cartridge clip

n : a metal frame or container holding cartridges; can be inserted into an automatic gun [syn: cartridge holder, clip, magazine]

 

[VintageDirt]

Oh yeah! The magazine is that which holds the cartridges so that they can be fed into the firearm and fired. A clip is a device designed to hold cartridges so that they can be fed easily into the magazine for use.

So there, 8)-

 

[zio]

Let's duke it out like some serious DRN'ers! I say you're a dumb New Mexican that can't hold his green chili's!

 

[XRpredator]

the back windows of my Tahoe are shaped like Wyoming . . .

You guys can love all them other places all you want, they're all the same to me -- Not Idaho. :)

 

[Danman]

Jeeze, Zio you callin us all rednecks in one of them thar di-rog-a-tory ways? Cuz thems would sure be some fighten words what would fetch ya more than a knot on the head :ohmy:

 

[Okiewan]

Sorry Zio... unless you are shooting some military like weapon, you are using a magazine. Do the rounds go inside this device? Or are they clipped together?

Texas vs. Cali thing? Hummm. I wonder what the average American would think about kicking one or the other out of the USA? A poll is in order!

 

[VintageDirt]

Let's duke it out like some serious DRN'ers! I say you're a dumb New Mexican that can't hold his green chili's!

You're on, you NorCal fruitcake. But you best stop now or I'll tell what you did at the Lodge in Reno. It won't matter that you was asleep at the time, you still done it.

And just for the record, I can hold my chili any time I want, as long as I want.

 

[Reesknight]

Do Kentucky and Tennessee fight like Olkahoma and Texas?

No, we close our fists! :laugh:

 

[BEEF706]

I have to vote fer losing Cali before TX, I mean if we lost Texas, who would we sell all the MILD chili off to, not to mention the tourist $$$ would be lighter. Only the "artists" up in Santa Fe would miss Cali.

 

[MrLuckey]

Don't sweat it Zio you haven't stated what weapon you are using and some revolvers actually do use clips.

 

[BunduBasher]

Zio can't even spell y'all .... :moon: :)

 

[BunduBasher]

Texas vs. Cali thing? Hummm. I wonder what the average American would think about kicking one or the other out of the USA? A poll is in order!

..... you can't fire us .......... we QUIT :flame:

 

[Danman]

No, we close our fists!

That was cold.

Only the "artists" up in Santa Fe would miss Cali

Can't forget Taos. :| You call that crap ya'll cook over there chilli! :joke:

 

[Danman]

Bundu you trader. When you view the poll it tells who voted for what. I'm imparshal :debil:

 

[joereitman]

One of my magazines holds 50 rds... Some have 7. Others have 14. It's all good. :)

I have many magazines. Don't ever read em...

Although I have reloaded for them...

I have family in TX and on the left coast- so which side do I stick up fer? Hmmm, that's a real tough one. NOT!

I keep a 5943 SSV in TX for future use, just in case... It seems to fit in down there real well. :)

Just thought I'd get into this melee early and see where it went. This oughta get REAL interesting. :)