he's not gonna make it

[dirty~d~]

I'm glad to hear that you were able to spend some time with him. I know it must have been hard seeing him like that, but the presence of loved ones is great medicine for everyone. Hang in there Sharla. You know you can lean my way if you need to. :cool:

 

[firecracker22]

Went back tonight for 2 hours. No change. He did know I was there, he half-opened his eyes and squeezed my hand. I sat for a little while, tried to talk to him, but my imagination and conversation skills kind of failed. Another friend of his--with whom I am not on the best of terms--came in and I left her with him for a half hour or so, then came back and she left. He comes partially alert when the nurses do stuff to him--and no wonder! How horrible to lay there while they shove tubes down your throat, etc.

 

[BunduBasher]

Hang in there luv, good friends are hard to come by. Some things in life we can't change and have no control over. My wife's little thing is "Worry about the things you are in control of, and not those which are out of your control". God bless.

 

[firecracker22]

I am glad I've gotten to see him, there was never any question of me not going; I was just too chicken to do it before he woke up. Luckily he was at least kind of aware when I went in. It was hard enough wondering if his reactions were just reflex or an actual recognition, I can't imagine what it would have been like had there been no reaction at all.


I broke into the "Ex-Files" to find some pictures of him. Don't know if I mentioned it or not before, but we dated on and off for about 2 years before breaking up (that's been almost 4 years ago now). He's never been a bad guy, just not THE one--plus I was very immature (imagine that) when we met. We stayed in touch, stayed friends, even went riding together--he used to have an XR400.

Hope these links work--my photos didn't post. Is there a trick to it that I don't know? I don't think I've posted a photo since it changed to opening in a new window.

Try this link.

Pic #2

Those pictures would be about 5 or 6 years ago, I think.

 

[High Lord Gomer]

If you want to email them to me I can get them up for you. [email protected]

Hang in there, friend.

 

[XRpredator]

I've not lost a friend, but I know how it feels to be there at the end with a relative. My loathing of anything to do with a hospital also makes me understand your not wanting to go.

I'm keeping you and your bud in my thoughts, Sharla.

 

[firecracker22]

Yesterday at work I got a call that they were going to take him off life support. Luckily my boss is very understanding and let me go, so I went to the hospital at about 2 in the afternoon. 2 of his other friends were there. Everyone else showed up later--there were quite a few of us. His mom and aunt came in, but weren't happy that we were there; they wanted us all to leave the hospital. Seeing as how his mother hasn't been the best to him, and there are other issues between he and her, we didn't; especially because she didn't ask us for a few moments with him, she just stalked out and glared at all of us without saying anything, and started raising a ruckus with the nurse. How incredible. His dad came down (they're long separated) and sat with her until the doctor came in at 6.

Apparently there was some discussion about whether or not to take him off life support--dad said yes, mom said no. She won, and the decision was to leave the machines on but not to make any resuscitation attempts if anything should go. Carrie, who is Brian's old friend and significant other (odd story) and I are the only two who agree--everyone else thinks he should be let go of his suffering. I stayed until about two, and just woke up. I didn't plan to sleep late, but Carrie stayed the night and when I called, said he's slightly more alert, and still stable.


Knowing Brian, who is a fighter, we are glad that the decision was made the way it was; even if he does go, we'll have more time with him, and he is beyond pain. Also, as a firm believer in lost causes, I like to hope that maybe he won't go just yet. He's strong and stubborn and aside from the cancer he's healthy and stable. His vital signs are still stable and strong, so he's not slowing down or slipping; all organs (kidneys, etc) are functioning; his lungs are clearing; the fever was getting high, but not as high as it had been; his blood pressure, heartbeat and breathing are strong and the machines aren't doing it for him yet, just supporting him. Even though I'm realistic to know it's a slim hope, miracles can happen. Something in me just doesn't want to let go.

 

[kmccune]

The last thing my mother said to us before she died was " Life Is a Good Deal, It's Worth It"  She fought with cancer for years and never gave up. I'm glad that your not giving up on Brian, and I'm sure that he is glad as well.

 

Kevin

 

[Camstyn]

I'm very sorry to hear that Brian's condition has gotten worse, Sharla. I'm sure that you and his other friends being there are giving him reason to fight. You've got my best wishes, I hope he can hold on and pull through it..

Stay strong,

Cam

 

[firecracker22]

The end is probably going to come tonight. I stayed at the hospital for hours every day last week, but then kind of chickened out and haven't gone since Friday night. Today I got a call saying that he took another turn for the worse, and it will be over soon.

Apparently he had radiation therapy today and yesterday, but he's never had it two days in a row before. He came out of treatment bleeding at the mouth and also internally. His heart rate and blood pressure have dropped and he's un responsive. I wonder if the treatment was too much for him while he was so weak, and the friends/family I have talked to all think the same, but we are not doctors so I don't know what their reasons are. At any rate, it is too late now.

I went down for a few hours tonight but didn't have it in me to stay. Maybe I should have. His sister and girlfriend are there though, so I felt almost like I was intruding. The girlfriend rubs me the wrong way every once in a while anyway, not through any malicious intent, just by nature. She means well so I haven't said anything--it's not the time or place.

At any rate it's doubtful he'll make it through the night. I cried at the hospital a little but I am not crying all the time like I was last week. I don't know if I'm just getting numb or what. I guess it's time, although this never should have happened to him. He's suffered enough though.

 

[Senior KX Rider]

Be strong Sharla.

 

[firecracker22]

6 am today

Should I be crying now? For some reason I can't yet. Maybe I'm not awake enough.

RIP Brian. :(

 

[XRpredator]

:(

 

[Papakeith]

:(

 

[biglou]

My condolences, Sharla.

 

[KiwiBird]

My condolences Sharla, the circle of life sucks.

 

[squeaky]

Sharla I am so sorry

I PM'ed you my # if you need anyone to talk to.

 

[kmccune]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, he must have been a great person judging from your commitment to him. Keep your head up, his memory alive and you will never truly lose him.

Kevin

 

[rickyd]

My condolences, RIP Brian...

 

[SirThumper]

:(

 

[dirty~d~]

Sharla, don't worry about what time it is... if you need to talk, you call me. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. :(

 

[BunduBasher]

May he rest in peace, and may you find peace and comfort as well.

Alan

 

[firecracker22]

Thanks everybody. Really, I am much calmer than I thought I would be, I guess sitting by the hospital bed last week was my adjustment period or something. The services are on Monday, that might be a little rougher. We'll see. In the meantime, thanks, and I'll keep you all in my mind if I do start to slide a little.

 

[Treejumper]

Sorry Sharla. :(

 

[Philip]

Very sorry to hear Sharla. Hang in there and just let the greiving (sp) process happen. It may happen now or in some future time just let it happen. Our prayers are with you. :(