old Butch

[Tony Eeds]

Roy the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young (hens) layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought sets of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Roy could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. So, now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmers favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning Roy noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all.

Roy went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

BUT, to Farmer Roy's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and procede to the next one. Roy was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair, where Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result: The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly Butch was a Politician in the making. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

 

[Grady]

:laugh:

 

[Joe Diver]

:rotfl: :rotfl:

 

[gwcrim]

Since we're on the chicken topic..... here's my favorite:

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got, no problem. But he'll cost you $1,000.

Well, the first farmer thought that was a lot of money for a rooster, but he decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a peptalk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money and, I'll
need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand so the farmer points toward the henhouse and Randy took off like a shot. ~WHAM~ He nails every hen in there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked.

Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake, ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen, he's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns. The
farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy stretched out on his back, wings spread in the middle of the yard, appearing to be drawing his last breath. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, looks up, nods toward the sky and says, "Shhh, they're getting closer...."