Parrallel Editorial
- Thread starter mdkuder
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XRP, funny analogy!
:thumb:
I can't remember where I found this but it's a funny read on French Military History:
French Military Prowess Revisited
By Anonymous
President Bush and Secretary Rumsfeld may be upset that the French are not "assisting" us in this fight, but out here at the tip of the spear, there is nothing but jubilation at their absence. Last thing we need is to be carrying the French on our shoulders.
A cursory review of French military history reveals the following:
1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
3 - Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but still manages to get invaded. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
6 - War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
7 - The Dutch War - Tied. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are tougher than they look.
8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; " France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British footwear designer.
13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. For the first, but certainly not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunk frat boy to France 's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Winds up a tie for les francaise. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French bloodline.
15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six weeks. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German work ethic. De Gaulle of it all...
16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is kept on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu.
17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. First time an Arab army has beaten a Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." A nice phrase, but it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists.
18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. Incensed at not being included in the original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. When it becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks at his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Schroeder. For good measure, he also surrenders to five million illegal immigrants from Algeria.
The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French are not helping us!
I, for one, am thankful to be an American!
:) :)
:thumb:
I can't remember where I found this but it's a funny read on French Military History:
French Military Prowess Revisited
By Anonymous
President Bush and Secretary Rumsfeld may be upset that the French are not "assisting" us in this fight, but out here at the tip of the spear, there is nothing but jubilation at their absence. Last thing we need is to be carrying the French on our shoulders.
A cursory review of French military history reveals the following:
1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
3 - Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but still manages to get invaded. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
6 - War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
7 - The Dutch War - Tied. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are tougher than they look.
8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; " France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British footwear designer.
13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. For the first, but certainly not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunk frat boy to France 's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Winds up a tie for les francaise. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French bloodline.
15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six weeks. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German work ethic. De Gaulle of it all...
16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is kept on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu.
17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. First time an Arab army has beaten a Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." A nice phrase, but it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists.
18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. Incensed at not being included in the original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. When it becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks at his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Schroeder. For good measure, he also surrenders to five million illegal immigrants from Algeria.
The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French are not helping us!
I, for one, am thankful to be an American!
:) :)
Pokie
Administrator
:p
you're missing the point about France and Germany...... our little war in Iraq is disturbing their vacation planning. You see, they are are just now getting back from their 4-week winder vacation, they need to relax a bit and then plan their 4-week summer vacation. Them wild-west cowboys are upsetting their "Gemuetlichkeit" (comfy cozy state of mind)
I am reminded of the words of Spanish Philosopher Jose Ortega y Gassett who, a century ago, complained especially about the French "mass man" mentality, the "senorito satisfecho"...
pour me another glass of white Bordeaux before I turn red!
:p
you're missing the point about France and Germany...... our little war in Iraq is disturbing their vacation planning. You see, they are are just now getting back from their 4-week winder vacation, they need to relax a bit and then plan their 4-week summer vacation. Them wild-west cowboys are upsetting their "Gemuetlichkeit" (comfy cozy state of mind)
I am reminded of the words of Spanish Philosopher Jose Ortega y Gassett who, a century ago, complained especially about the French "mass man" mentality, the "senorito satisfecho"...
pour me another glass of white Bordeaux before I turn red!
zio
Mr. Atlas
- Jul 28, 2000
- 2,291
- 0
Sarge, I don't know how you do it. You guys know how there seem to be certain personality types, and all of us fit into one or a combo of those types? Sarge defines a whole new type that has no equal. I wish I had him in my back pocket to whip out when there's a lull in my day. :worship:
Pokie
Administrator
Irish... very good synopsys, but you forgot their current "struggle" in the Ivory Coast. They brokered a deal with the rebels but are now accused by the population of giving the rebels too much power..... add another LOSS
I completely agree with you on this (and the rest of your post as well). Sometimes I think that the people/media believe that the government should spell out every detail of the pending war with Iraq. One of the best advantages in any conflict is to have your opponent in the dark as far as your capabilities and intelligence.
:) Nope, my neiborhood is clear!
When I run in the mornings they usually end up in the trashcans a few doors up. There are only 4-5 of them in the whole sub-division but they are dedicated buggers, there is a new one up whithin a couple of days. :p
- May 5, 2000
- 1,425
- 0
it really sickens me to see the moral decay of our society. One of the things that most irritates me is the schools. Many are teaching that there is little difference between right & wrong. No black & white, it's all grey. Nobody loses, everybody wins. I'm sorry, that's just not true!
When schools teach our kids that it's OK not to always do your best they are selling our kids short. Kids need to understand the meaning of failure, for once they know the agony of defeat will they then strive always for the thrill of victory. We keep lowering the bar every year, and it's not only the schools. It's in the workplace, homes, churches, government, everywhere! I feel we are fast becoming a society of apathetics and destined for mediocrity at best if we don't take the matter into our own hands and demand better for ourselves and our children.
Nobody wants a war, but I want the possible consequence of Hussein even less.
I deal DAILY with my kids telling me I'm unfair to them because I expect them to ahere to my standards and not the ones their friends have.
I got DEDUCTED on my last review because my boss told me I expect too much from people.
It sickens me to go to a church and hear that we must be compassionate and accept everyone for what they are, no matter what.
It inflames me :flame: to the point of where I don't hardly even watch news or read papers because they are so liberally biassed (misspelling intended).
It tears me up to know my tax monies go for supporting abortion and planned parenthood. Why can't we choose where we want our money to be spent? Why do the liberals cry that tax cuts on help the richest of the rich? The facts speak for themsleves. The burden of tax paying is carried by those who have jobs and pay taxes. The more you make the more they take. Maybe if you make a seven figure income you can have enough deductions to hide some of that, but I have continued to make more money each year and I pay more in every year. Why should my tax money go to support people who don't even want to work but demand those of us who do to support them? <rant off>
I can find a ton of things I don't like about this country, but I still believe I live in the best nation on this planet. I also believe that we as a society can make it better but not by just thinking happy thoughts.
As an American I enjoy the rights set forth in our Constitution. That is part of why I believe we have been especially blessed as a nation. The other reason is a founding belief in God. As we have steadfastly removed all refernce to God from our lives, our moral decline progresses. We call it equal rights. How soon before the courts uphold the right of a voodoo priestess to sacrifice in our public assemblies?
I believe people should have a choice in choosing right or wrong. I just don't like it when their choice overrides my choice for me and my family.
I think it's high time people start being held accountable for their actions.
When schools teach our kids that it's OK not to always do your best they are selling our kids short. Kids need to understand the meaning of failure, for once they know the agony of defeat will they then strive always for the thrill of victory. We keep lowering the bar every year, and it's not only the schools. It's in the workplace, homes, churches, government, everywhere! I feel we are fast becoming a society of apathetics and destined for mediocrity at best if we don't take the matter into our own hands and demand better for ourselves and our children.
Nobody wants a war, but I want the possible consequence of Hussein even less.
I deal DAILY with my kids telling me I'm unfair to them because I expect them to ahere to my standards and not the ones their friends have.
I got DEDUCTED on my last review because my boss told me I expect too much from people.
It sickens me to go to a church and hear that we must be compassionate and accept everyone for what they are, no matter what.
It inflames me :flame: to the point of where I don't hardly even watch news or read papers because they are so liberally biassed (misspelling intended).
It tears me up to know my tax monies go for supporting abortion and planned parenthood. Why can't we choose where we want our money to be spent? Why do the liberals cry that tax cuts on help the richest of the rich? The facts speak for themsleves. The burden of tax paying is carried by those who have jobs and pay taxes. The more you make the more they take. Maybe if you make a seven figure income you can have enough deductions to hide some of that, but I have continued to make more money each year and I pay more in every year. Why should my tax money go to support people who don't even want to work but demand those of us who do to support them? <rant off>
I can find a ton of things I don't like about this country, but I still believe I live in the best nation on this planet. I also believe that we as a society can make it better but not by just thinking happy thoughts.
As an American I enjoy the rights set forth in our Constitution. That is part of why I believe we have been especially blessed as a nation. The other reason is a founding belief in God. As we have steadfastly removed all refernce to God from our lives, our moral decline progresses. We call it equal rights. How soon before the courts uphold the right of a voodoo priestess to sacrifice in our public assemblies?
I believe people should have a choice in choosing right or wrong. I just don't like it when their choice overrides my choice for me and my family.
I think it's high time people start being held accountable for their actions.
- Feb 9, 2000
- 2,450
- 2
Okie ... I am definitely PRO LIFE ! :)
Talking about The French, Europe, and the Second World War, saw some interesting stuff on PBS last night. America had thousands if not millions of Americans who were against involvement in the European war. Among them being flying ace Charles Lindbergh. In fact American merchant ships were banned from supplying the English with arms and weapons. American war ships did assist with protecting non American convoys, but America stayed out of the war for two years. Only when the Japanese attacked Pearl harbor did America declare war ON JAPAN - As crazy as it sounds, it was Hitler who declared war on the USA 3 days after the US declared war on Japan (This without the consent of the US congress who were divided on the issue). Even crazier was the fact that the east coast cities refused to enforce a blackout in fear of losing income/revenue from the tourist trade. As a result hundreds of ships were lost to U-Boats.
This probably explains some of the mentality in Europe right now of "It's your war, not ours" !
Talking about The French, Europe, and the Second World War, saw some interesting stuff on PBS last night. America had thousands if not millions of Americans who were against involvement in the European war. Among them being flying ace Charles Lindbergh. In fact American merchant ships were banned from supplying the English with arms and weapons. American war ships did assist with protecting non American convoys, but America stayed out of the war for two years. Only when the Japanese attacked Pearl harbor did America declare war ON JAPAN - As crazy as it sounds, it was Hitler who declared war on the USA 3 days after the US declared war on Japan (This without the consent of the US congress who were divided on the issue). Even crazier was the fact that the east coast cities refused to enforce a blackout in fear of losing income/revenue from the tourist trade. As a result hundreds of ships were lost to U-Boats.
This probably explains some of the mentality in Europe right now of "It's your war, not ours" !
- Feb 9, 2000
- 3,718
- 0
Yes I am seeing more than I could have imagined for the midwest :(
Leaving for Reno later this afternoon :aj: Randy and Lou are about an hour or two past Salt Lake City!
I can see how easy it would be to forget that most of Europe was under Nazi control and still would be today if not for the USA. This guy :worship: pays homage to the USA! :worship:
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Thump
Jr Admin Type
- Jan 17, 2000
- 4,656
- 7
Eddie, yes, I saw one on the way to work today. We'll see if it is still there on the way home. If it is I will post a picture.... of it sitting in my garbage.
As for abortion.... I think it should not be used as contraception but am pro choice.
Prostitution... Legalize it and tax the piss out of it, same goes for pot. As long as taxes go to cover the consequence of the increase of uninsured medical expenses do to STD's and or drug related disease.... but then again some attorney would probably sue some corporate pimp for turning his client into a sex addict because it is so readily available, like they are doing with fast food LOL.
As for abortion.... I think it should not be used as contraception but am pro choice.
Prostitution... Legalize it and tax the piss out of it, same goes for pot. As long as taxes go to cover the consequence of the increase of uninsured medical expenses do to STD's and or drug related disease.... but then again some attorney would probably sue some corporate pimp for turning his client into a sex addict because it is so readily available, like they are doing with fast food LOL.
- Aug 2, 2000
- 13,510
- 19
Y'know, as for those people who have the anti-war crap in their yard, I say let 'em have it. It just shows the rest of us who the doofuses are. I don't agree with tearing down signs or anything on someones private property. That smacks of fascism.
- Feb 9, 2000
- 3,718
- 0
Corey - I am going to go out on a limb and guess that these are not things that David supports but rather he feels like I do. The 'war' on drugs is a joke. A joke that costs non drug using taxpayers billions every year. It can't be stopped in my opinion. I believe we could tax it, use that money for education etc. and be way better off. As soon as you legalize it, it goes down in price, its not nearly as lucrative for the Cartels, gangs etc. I also believe a lot of drug related crime would go away. Prositution seems to be about the same - I doubt all the laws, punishments etc do a thing to deter it. Regulate it, tax it, do health tests and use the money for good. Let our law enforcement people worry about other things.
This is NOT an endorsement of either of these activities and you won't find me buying drugs and taking a hooker home either way. Its just that we seem to have given our present approach all the time in the world and it doesn't appear to be working.
Sure would be cool to use some of that tax money for youth programs etc.
This is NOT an endorsement of either of these activities and you won't find me buying drugs and taking a hooker home either way. Its just that we seem to have given our present approach all the time in the world and it doesn't appear to be working.
Sure would be cool to use some of that tax money for youth programs etc.
Thump
Jr Admin Type
- Jan 17, 2000
- 4,656
- 7
I support the right to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol even though I do neither... that does not mean I support Intoxication Vehicular Manslaughter or lung cancer. Yes I thought about it.
Do you support making alcohol and cigarettes illegal? Because it would lower cost to treat and research lung cancer and all kinds of alcohol related incidents? I'm neither agreeing or disagreeing with your point...just wanting you to think about that statement too. :think:
- Aug 2, 2000
- 13,510
- 19
I see you giggling, Ed, but I got a lot of respect for other people's property. I don't want some anti-American dillweed taking down my flag, so I figure live and let live.
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