The Skonk

BadgerMan

Mi. Trail Riders
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#1
Can you flame an animal?

Oh well, the world could use a funny story so here goes.

I have a skonk problem and last night I declared war on the species! I had one very large critter that was tearing my lawn up (digging worms) and wandering around outside the house at night (very obvious when you sleep with the windows open). I was worried that my kids or myself might surprise it some night and end up getting defiled.

Well sure enough, I went to the garage late last night and almost met with a horrible fate. This animal was literally ripping my lawn to shreds. I ran back into the house where my wife instructed me to "shoot the SOB". I grabbed the Remington and a couple Stingers and headed back out the door. It was a tough shot…….forty paces, dark, and open sights. I picked a spot about one inch behind his (her?) left front shoulder and squeezed the trigger. What happened next can only be described as an awesome display! The Skonk did several back flips, all the time emitting a cloud of "scent". When I went back into the house, the wife was laughing…….until the smell penetrated the walls of our house!

My first in-stinked was to bury the thing, so I headed out with a flash light and proceeded to dig a large hole by the edge of the woods. After removing a couple melon-sized rocks, I hit a small root. I had been chopping at this root for a couple minutes thinking that it was the toughest little root I had ever seen when I decided to shine the light in the hole. It was A WIRE! I ran back in the house to discover that our phone was dead. A half-hour later, I had another hole prepare farther into the woods.

So, I walked over to the "dead" skonk with my light in one hand and a shovel in the other. When I got within about six feet it raised its head……then its tail! Luckily I had the sense to approach the animal from the front. As I ran past the living room window I could see my wife rolling on the floor with laughter. Anyway, I grabbed the Remington and another Stinger, shot the thing in the head, swore at it several times, stuck a clothespin on my nose and went to bed.

This morning, the skonk was nice and stiff so I quickly put it in the ground before my daughter could see that it looked just like her favorite beenie baby. The skonk is "in the hole", the phone line is spliced back together (testing, testing), and the house is airing out. Life is good again.

This has got to rank right up there with the dumbest things I have done!



"Mothers, tell your children not to do what I have done".
 

biglou

#2
Oh, the irony!!!

Headline reads: "Badgerman kills skunk!"

Thanks for the laugh Badgerman. I think we all needed that!:)
 
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#3
BadgerMan.

That was so funny.

Reminds me of a similar story. It was a time when my wife and I boarded our horses at a local stable. The owner of the stable was sitting on the front porch of his house one night with his shotgun across his lap. He was waiting for a skunk.

After a while a cat came by and walked past him. He noticed the cat was black with a white stripe. When he saw it, he let go with the shotgun. At the same time the skunk let go. They were both pretty close together at the time and the stable owner got sprayed pretty good. So did the skunk.

The now wounded skunk, crawled under his house and let go a couple more times. Then proceeded to die. He was unable to get to the skunk and had to live with the stink of the now decaying skunk under his house. It took months to get the smell out of his house.

Makes you kind of wonder, who won that battle?:scream:
 

XRpredator

AssClown SuperPowers
Damn Yankees
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#5
What is it with dogs chasing after the polecats? And porkypines?:silly:

I live near the crick here in town and we have some stinky ol' boar skunk that let's off a charge every time a dog barks. At least they're gone during wintertime.
 
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#6
I can't smell skunk, seriously.

I should look into the field of skunk eradication.:confused:
 

BadgerMan

Mi. Trail Riders
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#7
Well let me help ya out. It smells just like a cross between burning tires and Lemon Pledge! :eek:

Of course, I can only speak for the south west Michigan variety.

Funny thing, I originally thought it was coons that were digging up my yard so I bought a great big live trap. Luckily, I witnessed a skunk in the act one night before I put the trap to use. I sure am glad that I did not end up with a skunk in that trap!:(
 
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#8
BadgerMan, you and I must be related. I thought that kind of stuff only happened to me. Down here in La., it's the aramadillos that rip your lawn to shreds. Also I remember someone posting awhile back about a family of skunks living under his shed where he kept his bike. He said they were very friendly and no one dared steal his bike. I believe he called them "guard skunks".:D
 
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#9
Every once in a while I get a whiff of skunk funk, apparently my neighbors have the same problems as everyone else. I've hear that skunks and racoons will dig up your yard when you have grub problems. Have any of you tried killing the food source with GrubX (I believe that is a brandname)? Just curious.
 
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#10
One evening I was walking my dog who ran off to chase a cat. Oops not a cat . He got blasted bad. I went to the store and bought about 2 gallons of tomato juice and a cheep sponge. Scrubbed the heck out of the dog and he still stunk. After letting sleep in the garage (it was snowing that nite) we took him to a vet for a de-skunking and he was livable but it took about 2 weeks to get rid of the smell completely.

Jim
 
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#11
My dad had a close call last week. My sister and her friend went to an indoor pool. My mom went to pick them up and while they were getting change she rounded up their garbage, which included some uneaten chips. Instead of disposing it there, she brought it home and set it outside our back door, thinking that somebody else would carry it. Well, my dad was headed outside for a cirgarette(can't smoke inside) at about 10:30pm. He got one foot outside the door and looked down. He was approximately 6 inches away from a skunk. Luckily it had it's head inside the ripped garbage bag and didn't see him. He came back inside and closed our door. Then he sat in our porch for 10 minutes watching the thing finish off the chips. He even went to the kitchen window and yelled, but it didn't leave. It eventually finished what it was doing, and didn't leave his stench behind(thank god).

They seem to be bad at this time of year. I went for a drive out to our local resivoir the other day. I saw one on the way there, one came out of the grass and I almost hit it on the way back, and there was one walking on the street when I got back to town.
 
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Hucker

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#12
Man, that was funny. LOL oh man, I haven't laughed this hard in a while....

Thanks for the pick-me-up :)
 
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#13
i wonder if the tomato sauce does actually work.
Hmm, well i've had my luck with skunks. Haven't got sprayed, yet.
One night, i was with a friend and we were just walking around.
We came upon a skunk that was in the middle of the road, he was breathing well, but it looked like he was injured, or something.
Friend dared me to pick it up, so me being the animal person, i did just that.
It didn't hiss or lift up its tail, it just rested its head on my arm.
Daring to go a little bit further, i scratched its back, and discovered he'd been bit. I dont know from what, but he had a wound, that looked like teeth marks.
My friend, had walked about 5yds away, not wanting to be involved, lol.
Now, i was trying to figure out how to put it down without it turning on me.
Each time i bent down it started to hiss, so we just kept walking around, me holding a skunk, trying to figure out how to release it, without being sprayed.
It actually didnt have a bad scent, as they usually do.
:think
Someone on a bike (dirt bike) drove by slowly, came in for a closer look as to what i was holding, saw the skunk, shook their head in disbelieft. The skunk raised its tail and sprayed at the guy! I just stood there, speechless, and... partly sprayed. It eventuallly jumped away, but that little event, was quite strange!! Next time someone dares, it had better not be a skunk.