One of the fastest riders in my area was recently forced to give up the sport we all love. Why?, because his family forced him to choose between dirt bikes and them. I guess they couldn't handle worrying about him. I would like to hope that people's husbands, wifes, mothers, fathers, children, whatever, would be able to accept their family member's choosen hobbie or carreer and let them make their own choices. What would you do if faced with this situation?
family or dirtbikes, what would you do?
- Thread starter derekb_55
- Start date
If my wife presented me with good evidence and a justification why I should, I'd quit. She rides so she has no problem with me riding. She has at times questioned my racing. This is only temporary and she is happy with my racing as long as I don't get to carried away.
- Nov 25, 1999
- 7,926
- 43
Hesitation
I hesitated replying to this thread. People must make their own decisions based on the enviroment in which they live. Priorities must be set and adhered to but must be flexible. Being happy with your passtime is not worth unhappiness at home, IMHO. Living in the doghouse is not my idea of fun. Move over little dog, a big dog's movin' in.:think :scream:
I hesitated replying to this thread. People must make their own decisions based on the enviroment in which they live. Priorities must be set and adhered to but must be flexible. Being happy with your passtime is not worth unhappiness at home, IMHO. Living in the doghouse is not my idea of fun. Move over little dog, a big dog's movin' in.:think :scream:
Years ago, when I first started riding, my wife accused me of loving my bike more than I loved her. She said I had a choice. I told her to please not ask me to make that choice, as she might not like the answer. I then proceeded to explain to her that if I was to give up something I dearly loved for her benefit, I would be miserable, and that would in turn affect my attitude towards her.
I assured her I would try to be more sensitive to her needs also in the future, and the bike stayed.
I know every relationship is different-this was just my experience.
BTW- She now calls DRN my 'new girlfriend'. I think I better go spend some time with her right now!:D
I assured her I would try to be more sensitive to her needs also in the future, and the bike stayed.
I know every relationship is different-this was just my experience.
BTW- She now calls DRN my 'new girlfriend'. I think I better go spend some time with her right now!:D
HiG4s
~SPONSOR~
- Mar 7, 2001
- 1,308
- 1
My family always comes first, but my wife knew that I was a motorcycle nut when she married me and she had to accept it then. But for 10 years I gave up all motorcycles to help her finish college, to get a condo for the family at Disney World, and to get us moved to Florida, because we both learned to hate snow. Now my son is 12 and I have started to ride with him, and he hopes to race. My wife and I celebrate our 20th anniversary in 8 days, and she knows I would give up anything for her, she also would never ask me to give up something I love as much as motorcycles. The whole thing is called a relationship and I question just how good a relationship it can be if ultimatums have been levied. But like was already said, everyone has to make their own choice!
I think these two said it perfectly, and this mirrors my experience after I got married. My wife knew that I loved to ride my bike before we even got serious, and, after several years of marriage, when she confronted me with the "ultimatum", I told her how unfair it was to force me to give up something that she had accepted during our entire relationship until now. So we reached a compromise. No more racing, and she knows me well enough to know that I use my head when riding, and she trusts me enough to know that I do not ride over my head. Now my two sons are old enough to get started in the sport, and she is willing and accepting, understanding that I will teach them both to be sensible and safe, and she is very supportive of this valuable father-and-son time that this will give us.
KC_BigDog_51
Member
- Mar 25, 2001
- 262
- 0
I was lucky enough to find someone that enjoyed the sport, all be it not as much as I do, but well enough to want to get a bike a learn how to ride. We both stopped riding a couple of years ago and when I got back into it about 6 months ago she showed some reservations after seeing how much time I was spending riding. To remedy this I started bringing her to the track with me when we would go roding and sure enough she has the itch to ride again. As soon as she recovers from having our first child in Dec, I am going to start looking for a bike for her and a few years down the rode for our son and we can hopefully enjoy the sport for a long time to come as a family. In this day and age of dual working parents, the weekends become more and more important to keep the family atmosphere a healthy one. I can't think of too many things you can do as a family where everyone has fun like you do in this great sport of ours.
What better way to spend a wekend with your wife and kids than all loading up and heading to the track or trails for a day of fun in the sun with dirt bikes?
After the initial purchase of the bikes this sport is very reasonable as far as out of pocket money goes. I bet I would spend less in one full day of biking than I would for all of us to go see a movie, not to mention the fact we are getting exercise instead of sitting on our butts through a 2 hour movie.
As a soon to be father of a bouncing baby boy I am itching to get that PW50 purchased and watch the huge smile across his face the first time he throws his leg over it. Do you think 6 months is too soon to start him off? J/K
What better way to spend a wekend with your wife and kids than all loading up and heading to the track or trails for a day of fun in the sun with dirt bikes?
After the initial purchase of the bikes this sport is very reasonable as far as out of pocket money goes. I bet I would spend less in one full day of biking than I would for all of us to go see a movie, not to mention the fact we are getting exercise instead of sitting on our butts through a 2 hour movie.
As a soon to be father of a bouncing baby boy I am itching to get that PW50 purchased and watch the huge smile across his face the first time he throws his leg over it. Do you think 6 months is too soon to start him off? J/K
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This is a hard one to deal with...even harder to post for me. But here goes...
First KC_BigDog_51...hope things go well and you fill up that Dog Pound!
I've had it both ways. Endless control and ultimatums and now a wife who believes as I do in letting each other make choices. I quit riding around 10 years ago trying to do things to repair a troubled relationship...and ended up resenting that choice for years. ( Changed jobs a couple of times, even careers) That motorcycle event was one of many little symptomatic events that eventually broke our marrige. I have to stress that event, and the many others that came before and followed; were symptomatic of a troubled relationship. I can only hope NO one here ever has to go through that kind of breakup. No one wins. A lot of people loose, most of all the kids who get left behind as their parents struggle with each other. Not just Ex husband and Ex wife.
Because of the relationship I have with my current wife, I would drop riding in a heart beat if that was the right thing to do for the family....and wouldn't resent it. I have to stress again this is a result of a healthy relationship with my wife. It all starts with that relationship...The family's success is dependent on that. I hope all can learn to say "We" instead of "I" when making decisions that effect the family. I started riding again after my divorce. Actually started because of pressure/interest from my kids/new family. I'm a happier man now, not just because of motorcycles, although that helps; but because of the relationship with my family and my wife that allows me to ride motorcycles guilt free. That family relationship effects all things important in my life therefore is the most important thing in my life here on earth. Motorcycles are further down on that stack of priorities.:)
(PS: I've got a bunch of trophies and won some races...but those things don't even come close to the reward and emotion of watching your kids grow. And when they win..its increadible. Had one girl win her class at fair this summer in the 4-H events..It makes it all worth while.):D
First KC_BigDog_51...hope things go well and you fill up that Dog Pound!
I've had it both ways. Endless control and ultimatums and now a wife who believes as I do in letting each other make choices. I quit riding around 10 years ago trying to do things to repair a troubled relationship...and ended up resenting that choice for years. ( Changed jobs a couple of times, even careers) That motorcycle event was one of many little symptomatic events that eventually broke our marrige. I have to stress that event, and the many others that came before and followed; were symptomatic of a troubled relationship. I can only hope NO one here ever has to go through that kind of breakup. No one wins. A lot of people loose, most of all the kids who get left behind as their parents struggle with each other. Not just Ex husband and Ex wife.
Because of the relationship I have with my current wife, I would drop riding in a heart beat if that was the right thing to do for the family....and wouldn't resent it. I have to stress again this is a result of a healthy relationship with my wife. It all starts with that relationship...The family's success is dependent on that. I hope all can learn to say "We" instead of "I" when making decisions that effect the family. I started riding again after my divorce. Actually started because of pressure/interest from my kids/new family. I'm a happier man now, not just because of motorcycles, although that helps; but because of the relationship with my family and my wife that allows me to ride motorcycles guilt free. That family relationship effects all things important in my life therefore is the most important thing in my life here on earth. Motorcycles are further down on that stack of priorities.:)
(PS: I've got a bunch of trophies and won some races...but those things don't even come close to the reward and emotion of watching your kids grow. And when they win..its increadible. Had one girl win her class at fair this summer in the 4-H events..It makes it all worth while.):D
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firecracker22
Sponsoring Member
- Oct 23, 2000
- 3,213
- 0
I'm stubborn, pig-headed, and selfish. I would not give up something I loved because someone else didn't want me to participate in it.
If they were worried about my safety, I would do my best to show them how I take precautions such as trail/track etiquette, protective gear, rider training and riding within my bounds.
Life is dangerous; you can't live if you're continually worried about getting hurt.
And if a person cannot accept me for who I am and what I do, then do they really care about me or just about who they want me to be?
Of course, I do not have a family or anyone to be responsible for so I have the leeway to say these things. I might feel different if I had to be accountable for someone besides myself.
If they were worried about my safety, I would do my best to show them how I take precautions such as trail/track etiquette, protective gear, rider training and riding within my bounds.
Life is dangerous; you can't live if you're continually worried about getting hurt.
And if a person cannot accept me for who I am and what I do, then do they really care about me or just about who they want me to be?
Of course, I do not have a family or anyone to be responsible for so I have the leeway to say these things. I might feel different if I had to be accountable for someone besides myself.
Boit
Sponsoring Member
- Sep 5, 2000
- 116
- 0
My 2 cents. At age 25, my first child was born. I immediately gave up all my M/X racing because I now had someone innocent who was totally dependent upon me and I felt it was my responsibilty to rid myself of any unnecessary risks. I DID promise myself that once my children were of adult age, I would ride and/or race again if I wanted. Well, I'm now 47, the kids are grown, the wife is history. I have 4 motorcycles, and more will surely follow.. YEAH!!!
God, job, family, dirt bikes...in that order.:)
Lodge is in there too, some know where it goes.
Lodge is in there too, some know where it goes.
- Aug 2, 2000
- 13,504
- 19
Family first, in my book. Then it depends on the time of year. Hunting and Dirtbikes are the next on the list, since both are usually done with family.
My wife understood what was up before we got married and had kids, and she's done little to change my ways.
If only I could get dirtbikes on a higher priority level for her than, say, SHOES! :scream: (what is it with you women and shoes?!!?)
My wife understood what was up before we got married and had kids, and she's done little to change my ways.
If only I could get dirtbikes on a higher priority level for her than, say, SHOES! :scream: (what is it with you women and shoes?!!?)
I want to explain my post....The God thing is a personal one...I feel without that one will have trouble with everything else. The job has to come before family, otherwise how else would a man support them properly. And it's just seems obvious to me that your family is more important than your hobbies.
Now for you, KLX4spokes....country had nothing to do with this thread, But since you are intent on prodding me, I can tell you there is none more patriotic than myself. In fact, I heard today that the US Open has decided that the National Anthem is too American sounding and my make forigners feel bad, so they are not going to play it anymore at the US Open tennis champinonships. I will no longer watch them for any reason, no matter how talented or popular it may be.
Another way for liberals to tear down the fabric of a great society.
KLX, are you going to change horses mid-stream once America is fed up with this lunacy, or will you continue to defend it?? :think
Now for you, KLX4spokes....country had nothing to do with this thread, But since you are intent on prodding me, I can tell you there is none more patriotic than myself. In fact, I heard today that the US Open has decided that the National Anthem is too American sounding and my make forigners feel bad, so they are not going to play it anymore at the US Open tennis champinonships. I will no longer watch them for any reason, no matter how talented or popular it may be.
Another way for liberals to tear down the fabric of a great society.
KLX, are you going to change horses mid-stream once America is fed up with this lunacy, or will you continue to defend it?? :think
- Aug 2, 2000
- 13,504
- 19
Good, another reason to hate tennis!
Don't sweat ol' KLX4, Jaybird. He just likes to push buttons, kinda like a trained chimp. :p (laugh with me now, KLX! ;) )
If your family is the most important thing to you, then you have to consider your job tops...Like I said, no job, no groceries (or dirt biking) ....it's easy. Making your job top priority makes for a happy family. Screw around and not work, and your family will go down the tubes fast. Think about it.
KLX4spokes, I did enjoy it!
In fact, I love the opportunity to express my heavily conservative views! :)
bbbom...(cough) or a lady, for that matter. :)
KLX4spokes, I did enjoy it!
In fact, I love the opportunity to express my heavily conservative views! :)
bbbom...(cough) or a lady, for that matter. :)
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OK, tell me how you keep your family together without taking care of your job?
Wait now...I'm talking about bread winners...not those who are at home being supported...
One needs to have a family depending on them to understand this I suppose.
I know that there are some lodge brothers out there that totally understand me. :)
Wait now...I'm talking about bread winners...not those who are at home being supported...
One needs to have a family depending on them to understand this I suppose.
I know that there are some lodge brothers out there that totally understand me. :)
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Oh come on now....I don't think that a job with that fella is a good one, do you? Just like a bad wife (cough) or husband....you may have to shuck one or two till ya get it right. :D
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing more important on earth than our children. To make them happy, one needs to set priorities.
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing more important on earth than our children. To make them happy, one needs to set priorities.
