Getting along with the opposite sex

[yzeater]

If I could just get PMS once to know what its like...

Priceless.

 

[slo' mo]

notice how those of us who have been married 20+ years are sttaying out of this... :cool:

 

[singletracker500]

Originally posted by slo' mo
notice how those of us who have been married 20+ years are sttaying out of this... :cool:

:D

 

[zio]

Originally posted by LoriKTM
Hmm...typical male responses. Glad to see that the male DRN constituent is typical of society in general! ;)

Makes sense to me... you know, that we should act like men. :debil:

Women and men communicate differently. Men communicate facts. Women communicate emotions. We say "I'm tired", and we mean we're tired. Women say "I'm tired", and they mean some need isn't being met, they need you to acknowledge what it is & show them that you care. Bizarre, but true. The good thing is that with time, we can learn to recognize these secret codes. We're just super slow learners. We'd rather bonk you on the head & drag you back to the cave & fix it with some caveman lovin.

Also, men judge their success by their job, money, toys, etc. Women judge success (usually) by their relationships, family, kids, etc. So if a man's relationships are crumbling, but he's still a success at work or on the basketball court, he still feels o.k. about himself. Most likely, a man shys away from a relational problem because he's failed at trying to fix them in the past. We're conditioned to think that we're at odds with women, and once relational problems arise, that's it- time to pick sides. Or worse, ditch the relationship.

 

[Bruce]

Honestly FC, be blunt and kind simultaneously. Most men react to shorter sound bites. EX:

"It appears to me that little Billy would really like to spend more time with you. Is there a way to do this?" (appeals to male's need to fix things that are fixable)

"I really enjoy going out to dinner with you. Would you like to go to Mario's on Tuesday night." (simple yes/no decision). Does not put man on defensive with a comment like "I really wish we went out more often" would.

Food for thought...

Some men follow this sequence of synapse in their thinking regarding problem solving:
1) What is the problem
2) what have you done about it
3) did it work
4) if not, what will you try next...

 

[WoodsRider]

Originally posted by LoriKTM
Hmm...typical male responses. Glad to see that the male DRN constituent is typical of society in general!

Well we'd hate to disappoint you ladies with some sort of "Men are from Mars..." sensitive male response crapola. After all, like Tim Allen said, we're only good for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. My folks have been married 54 years and dad still hasn't figured mom out.

 

[XRpredator]

Firecracker, today marks 10 years of wedded bliss with my lovely Buttercup, and I am still vexed and perplexed by the "secret codes" that zio speaks of. I think the fairer sex likes to spring new "code words" on us throughout our lives together, just to keep us on our toes. But, I think zio said it best when he said the following:

We'd rather bonk you on the head & drag you back to the cave & fix it with some caveman lovin.

Me like caveman lovin'. Me think me pretty darn good at it! :D

 

[bbbom]

And that's what you get for thinkin!!!! :moon:

 

[Bruce]

Hmmmm. Firecracker isn't responding.... could we have been too late with our sage advice????

 

[Danman]

Honestly FC, be blunt

Please do. Don't expect someone to read what you are thinking about if you are realy saying something else. Its dam hard to fix the problem if you leave the facts out ;)

 

[bsmith]

IS there a way to discuss things with a man without putting him on the defensive

This depends on the person, if the topic is money for example, and you bought a house and don't have any money for furniture, food, fixing up, or bills, yet he is off riding his sleds and hanging out with his friends instead of paying attention to his new found responsibilities then this will be tough.

The defense is put up because his way of life is being threatened, and he fears change or fears his buddies making fun of him for being home doing chores while their out playing(whipped comes to mind).
I have plenty of friends that have never grown up, and no matter what happens they still act like a kid. This type seldom ever become good husbands or parents, they just can't except resbonsibility. Come to think of it I don't ever see them anymore :think: , oh-well :)

If its a relationship/commentment issue, then it comes back to the above, are they ready to move on in life, obviously he see's the first hand results of keeping the same life style and taking risks, you posted about his friend, look what his wife and kids lost :(
Maybe he's pushing you away to prevent from hurting anyone, but again it comes back to is he ready to change?

Hope this helps, or gives you ideas, I think I have a healthy relationship with my wife, God knows it's been tough, and I had to sacrifice, but after 7 years of marrige it was her idea for me to get a new bike :aj:

All joking aside be Blunt :)

 

[dirty~d~]

Dating? Marriage? Uh, no thanks. :)

 

[Tree]

F/C- You just have to face the facts men and women think and act differently if you don't accept that you will never be happy and will be searching for the perfect relationship all your life. Unless that is the purpose of life for women- the never ending struggle for something unatainable.

Here's my male philosophy- You need to do what makes you happy do not allow someone else to affect that. A man can not make you unhappy you allow that person to make you unhappy. So either accept it or change it.

Men think about relationships like this:
Does the good outweigh the bad? Yes, I have the perfect relationship.
No. ask the question-Do I still have as much free time as I want?
Yes. This relationship isn't that bad.
No. What can I do to get her to leave.

 

[dirty~d~]

Originally posted by WoodsRider

Well we'd hate to disappoint you ladies with some sort of "Men are from Mars..." sensitive male response crapola. After all, like Tim Allen said, we're only good for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

BRAAAHHHAHAHHHA!!!! :)

...That's why you don't say "I feel fat today" to a man, or Diane , because they will say "Why don't you go on a diet?"...

Women scare me

ME TOO! :eek:

Show up naked... Check

Bring the beer... Double check

 

[Ol'89r]

Originally posted by slo' mo
notice how those of us who have been married 20+ years are sttaying out of this... :cool:

:D Smart, very smart. :confused:

 

[Bruce]

married 17 years... sometimes (only sometimes) its better to play the whipped game to get what you want...
Any of you well-married guys follow?

 

[gospeedracer]

If you feel like beating your head bloody and raw against a brick wall, then by all means, take a shot at discussing problems with your relationship. :p

One thing I’ve learned is it’s very rare to get a man to change. I also realized why should I want to? Nobody is perfect. You just have to find a way to accept the things about them that are ‘less desirable’ if you love them. If you can’t find a way to do that then it’s time to move on.

I agree with the positive reinforcement thing as well. Showing up naked with beer doesn’t hurt either if you really want to get your way. ;)

 

[Ol'89r]

Ok, I've tried to stay out of this, but it appears some of you need advice. Mrs Ol'89r and I have been married for 38 years. Yea, really.

Below, I have listed everything that I have learned about women during that time.














Just a minute, I'm thinkin. :eek:















Still thinkin. :scream:












I'll have to get back to ya on this one. :confused:

 

[WoodsRider]

Originally posted by gospeedracer
Showing up naked with beer doesn’t hurt either if you really want to get your way. ;)

:eek:

Dang Eddie, you are one lucky dawg!

 

[michigan]

I get along with women just like I get along with my 500.

Just when I think everything is peachy, I find myself going over the bars at high speed, eating dirt, bouncing off trees and 40 miles per hour, then wondering if I'll ever be able to get back on my feet again.

So, I can offer very little good advice. Best of luck to you!

 

[Bruce]

Showing up naked with beer doesn’t hurt either if you really want to get your way.

Just so I'm perfectly clear... does the guy show up naked with beer???? Relationships are so confusing.

And another thing... how come guys don't mind dancing around the bedroom naked with the lights on no matter how fat we get... but women are uncomfortable dooing the same.... Gawd, I hope it's not just me doing that.

 

[Ol'89r]

Still thinkin........ :silly:

 

[MrLuckey]

:aj: YUP, that's a fact! :aj:

But then she pretty much gets her way all the time! A spoiled woman is a happy woman!

 

[Old CR goat]

Getting "along" with the opposite sex requires two things, and only two.
Acceptance and Understanding.

When you accept that you are never, ever going to understand the other completely, it gets much easier.

 

[gospeedracer]

So Terry, that must mean you got married when you were only 2??!! ;)