My Wife

[dirtybkr]

Myself and my very lovely bride were pulling into the driveway the other night when she asked me if I noticed the new potted plant she had bought . I said "no' and she proudly pointed to the new flowers hanging on a tree . She was proud becouse she had hung it herself .
She told me that she could not find my hammer , so she used the staple gun . I smiled, thinking she doesn't know any better , a staple won't hold for long and walked into the house to get a hammer and nail .
When I got out to the tree with the plant , I noticed that there was a nail already firmly planted in the tree holding up the pot . I scratched my head for a second when it hit me . I go back in the house and grab my staple gun off my work bench to find it all banged up and no longer working . Yup , thats right kids , she used my stapler like a hammer .

 

[yzeater]

That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a while!! Great!

 

[fatty_k]

Blonde? :silly:

 

[a454elk]

My tools are off limits to the mrs. She tried using a wood chisel as a screw driver! I bought her her very own tool kit, it consists of a screwdriver. She's been gettin by with just that one fine item!:):)

 

[clutchcover]

Ouch, poor stapler. Time for a now honey lecture. Probably better just to let it slide eh? ;)

 

[dirtybkr]

Originally posted by fatty_k
Blonde? :silly:

Good guess, but no .

Elk , I too had gotten her a nice " Girls hammer " but that was all the way upstairs . :silly:

 

[Smit-Dog]

I used to be a CNC machinist in a former life, so still have all my tools from the trade.

My wife need to clamp some wood together while the glue dried, so she used my set of micrometers. They were neatly put away in my tool chest. The metal C-clamps that she didn't use were hanging in plain site above the work bench. Go figure...

FWIW, she's a brunette...

- Bill

 

[motometal]

my wife doesn't understand that some times I don't do a perfect job of cleaning tools before I put them away...and I work on some pretty greasy stuff!

I'll find some miscellaneous tool laying on the living room carpet...

 

[CanadianRidr]

A nice girls hammer ROFLMAO!!!
Was it pink with tassels on it?

My tools are off limits to EVERYONE in the house BUT me. My dad will buy a cheapo socket set everytime he loses them or drops one on the floor. Yet he blames me :| Finally I cought him red handed he was working on his bike (breaking it more and then asking me to fix it) and he left all the tools on the driveway and it stormed and blew most of them in the ditch, hah he left his manual on the ground and finally he admitted to it!

My advice will cost a penny but it worked for me, I bought a locking box, sure it cost a LOT, but it pays off. I call it insurance.

PS. My dad used my punch to open his breifcase that's lock would not work, and my mom used tire iron to pull up old tiles :debil:

 

[CanadianRidr]

Oh yah the locking box is for the tools not the wife :p

 

[JuliusPleaser]

I came home from an extended weekend trip and found my upstairs basement door chopped into a million pieces. I jumped back in my car and hauled *** up the street while calling the cops. While I was talking to the dispatcher, my call-waiting beeped. It was my wife (who was supposed to be in NC). She had come home from her weekend trip early, and only had the garage door opener with her. She was locked out, and decided to beat the door open with an axe.

I had thousands of dollars worth of tools from which to choose, and she used an axe to break into the house. :silly:

 

[XRpredator]

Thankfully, being a farm girl, my wife knows a little better about what tools to use:

HERS! :D

 

[dirty~d~]

Originally posted by fatty_k
Blonde? :silly:

Does it matter? She's an embarrassment to the female species!! :eek: What does hair color have to do with it? That poor staple gun. :( I feel your pain.

 

[dirtybkr]

Cool it d , my wife is NOT an embarrasment to anybody .She is a very sucsessful busness woman .

 

[bbbom]

Or maybe you should show her how to use hand tools - heck according to you guys, if a BLONDE can figure it out anyone can. Be careful though, next thing she'll want to learn is how to operate heavy equipment.

The D10 is still my favorite!

 

[dirtybkr]

bbbom ,nope, she's not interested ,and the only heavy equipment she wants to operate is her HD.

 

[IrishEKU]

Sorry,
But my ex was a redhead.........And the only intelligent tool she ever used was the pen to sign the divorce paper work! Where are all the women that know how to use tools and work with their hands!

My rant is over.........Where is the Tylenol?

 

[zio]

Originally posted by dirtybkr
bbbom ,nope, she's not interested ,and the only heavy equipment she wants to operate is her HD.

Hair dryer? How heavy can those be?

 

[SirThumper]

My wife would have tried to blame the whole stapler thing on me :eek: yeah, she would have been like, "If you would have done it for me I wouldn't have ruined your stapler" She tries to turn everything around so it is my fault. :silly: jeeess now I feel like going to my room and slamming the door. :)

 

[dirty~d~]

Originally posted by dirtybkr
Cool it d , my wife is NOT an embarrasment to anybody .She is a very sucsessful busness woman .

It was meant as sarcasm. Don't worry, I'm not slamming your wife. You were venting about abused tools... I was offering female support... ah, nevermind. :ugg:

 

[dirtybkr]

All's cool , d . Sarcasm is hard to read but after looking at your post again , I see it now .

 

[Hot4Teacher]

My wife used my drywall saw to prune the tree in the back yard!! :scream:
I have to admit, it did work pretty well, BUT that is besides the point.

 

[tekin11]

I'm still single so I'll let you in on what happened between my brother and his wife.

He has a tool set that he keeps neat and organized. She works on projects around the house but, according to my brother, never replaces his tools after using them. In the interest of saving the marriage and his sanity he buys a new toolbox just for her, adds some new tools and a few tools that his father in law has given them. Now she can have her own tool set to use and or abuse, as she likes. Problem solved right? Nope, just two seconds after her new tool box in the house she goes into the basement goes into the brothers tool set and picks out all the good ones she wants, and puts them in her new tool box.

Wow, sometimes I am glad I am still single.

 

[MXbabe]

I don't know if it's just me but what I see (besides dirtybkr's post) is the women having to do the work themselves because they can't seem to get their husbands to do it when they asked the first time. :silly: Then the guys want to get all mad and upset that the ladies took it upon themselves to do it and messed up something in their tool box or what not. :| I know it's kinda that way around my house. My husband is a finish carpenter and everyone says "ooh, you're so lucky, he must build you everything." Nope, it couldn't be further from the truth. I ask for things but eventually have to do them myself. :whiner: He doesn't mind either, he is always telling me his tools are in the garage. I think we lived in our house for 5 months before I got fed up and hung all our pictures myself.
Like I said, just from reading the posts, that is the picture I get. I could be wrong. Just trying to stick up for the ladies who aren't in the position to defend themselves (seeing how I doubt you told them you were flamming them) :moon:

 

[Rooster]

Well, let me tell you how keeping your tools under lock and key can backfire.

My X-wife and her mother decided to strip the wall paper off our bedroom walls. They did it with a freaking fork and a butter knife. :eek: :| I had to replace ALL the sheet rock.