Please read my story
- Thread starter dirtbike_freak
- Start date
sparkysakitas
~SPONSOR~
- Aug 31, 2005
- 1,079
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Aryain said:
what did i do now im calm :whoa:
flyingfuzzball
Member
- May 10, 2007
- 957
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i wasnt insulting him i was insulting the harrypotter books.
her writing style is terrible. try reading something like robert jordan for fantasy(that is if you can make it through the books they are kinda long but there are lots of subplots)
if you dont like fantasy try tom clancy. clive cussler books are good but if you read a whole bunch of em at one point the plots kinda get repetitive. so you gotta read em spaced out.
her writing style is terrible. try reading something like robert jordan for fantasy(that is if you can make it through the books they are kinda long but there are lots of subplots)
if you dont like fantasy try tom clancy. clive cussler books are good but if you read a whole bunch of em at one point the plots kinda get repetitive. so you gotta read em spaced out.
dirtbike_freak
Member
- Dec 10, 2006
- 211
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- Thread starter
- #455
I try to write just like her :fft:flyingfuzzball said:
JD_MXRacer
Member
- Nov 27, 2006
- 411
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ha ha easy there killers lets keep this thread to the story. which by the way when is the next chapter? ha ha j/m i can wait now that im in school i have less time to think about the story and i almost forgot about it for a while :yikes:
dirtbike_freak
Member
- Dec 10, 2006
- 211
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- Thread starter
- #457
I'm working on chapter 20 right now.
shaunwhite11188
Member
- Sep 7, 2007
- 12
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hey i really like your story i put it on my iPod last night (a great idea) for anyone so keep th chapters rolling I'm really into it
I just found this thread yesterday because I'm new to this forum, and I'm glad I found it.
That is one really good story. Plot and characters and everything is great, story is awsome.
but if I can make one suggestion - Some of your wording is less then professional. If you got your english teacher to read through it and give you some tips or something, then I seriously think this thing could be published. For example, you used "... and stuff." a couple of places. I don't think you would ever see J.K. Rowling using that. haha
But who am I? your the one writing the story. Take it or leave it.
but otherwise, dang thats some good stuff.
So I have one more question.. When is the next chapter coming out? lol.
That is one really good story. Plot and characters and everything is great, story is awsome.
but if I can make one suggestion - Some of your wording is less then professional. If you got your english teacher to read through it and give you some tips or something, then I seriously think this thing could be published. For example, you used "... and stuff." a couple of places. I don't think you would ever see J.K. Rowling using that. haha
But who am I? your the one writing the story. Take it or leave it.
but otherwise, dang thats some good stuff.
So I have one more question.. When is the next chapter coming out? lol.
olderndirtmom
Member
- Apr 28, 2007
- 424
- 1
That's a great suggestion Cabot!!!
I'm glad you made the recommendation.
If DB_F decides he wants to do this as more than just a "timefiller", a rewrite would be warranted. But this is just a little old friendly forum/"did it because I was bored"/everyone got hooked and now he can't stop til the story is done/ deal. I personally think some of the word choice of a teen writing about a teen lends authenticity. Having a grown up give a story a "polished and professional" feel, would IMO, make it too much of a grown up's story. Part of the fan base is the story, part of it is the authenticity of words like "and stuff".
DB_F has enormous potential. A publisher and or English teacher would insist on a rewrite, to be sure. Maybe two or three. Writing is enormous work. But to have good ideas! Not all of us have those, let alone can execute them over many many many months and many distractions.
I continue to be awed by the hard work involved, and the ingenuity in telling a tale. :worship:
I'm glad you made the recommendation.
If DB_F decides he wants to do this as more than just a "timefiller", a rewrite would be warranted. But this is just a little old friendly forum/"did it because I was bored"/everyone got hooked and now he can't stop til the story is done/ deal. I personally think some of the word choice of a teen writing about a teen lends authenticity. Having a grown up give a story a "polished and professional" feel, would IMO, make it too much of a grown up's story. Part of the fan base is the story, part of it is the authenticity of words like "and stuff".
DB_F has enormous potential. A publisher and or English teacher would insist on a rewrite, to be sure. Maybe two or three. Writing is enormous work. But to have good ideas! Not all of us have those, let alone can execute them over many many many months and many distractions.
I continue to be awed by the hard work involved, and the ingenuity in telling a tale. :worship:
- May 31, 2002
- 1,229
- 2
On Friday, he said he was working on Chapter 20, you may have misread itJ-man said:
I never did get the opportunity of a sneak peak by proof reading a chapter, but thats ok, olderndirtmom is doing a great job with the proofing.
I also agree that the way db_freak words the story adds to it. A friend of mine has been writing a story about teens, and he has been trying to write it as if it were written by a teen. Not as easy for someone in his 40s, but of course comes natural in this story.
olderndirtmom
Member
- Apr 28, 2007
- 424
- 1
Hey Scooter, where ya been? I guess I did cut you back out of the "sneak peek". That wasn't really fair. I think you have greater attention to detail...(and pretty much anyone knows more about riding/racing than I do.) Maybe db_f could be persuaded to let you have a go??
I've been reading a teen series that is very popular. Very well written. Great story line and interesting relationships. But it smacks of "grown up" through and through. Interesting to hear of your friend trying to write from a teen voice. Even with teenagers in the house I can't imagine capturing the nuance of how they talk and most of all think. Something about the endless blank stares you get when trying to communicate --I'm not sure how great a story I could make out of THAT! lol.
I've been reading a teen series that is very popular. Very well written. Great story line and interesting relationships. But it smacks of "grown up" through and through. Interesting to hear of your friend trying to write from a teen voice. Even with teenagers in the house I can't imagine capturing the nuance of how they talk and most of all think. Something about the endless blank stares you get when trying to communicate --I'm not sure how great a story I could make out of THAT! lol.
olderndirtmom
Member
- Apr 28, 2007
- 424
- 1
scooter1130 said:
To be honest, I'm not sure I did much at all in the way of proofing the last two or three chapters. As I said before db_f jumped a level as these chapters went-not just in content and storylines- but in grammar, spelling and punctuation. It's very cool. :cool:
Despite not really being needed, I've really enjoyed getting a chance to read them ahead of the pack. Maybe too much, because sometimes I forget I'm supposed to be looking at punctuation and spelling, because I'm too caught up in the story. :)
olderndirtmom
Member
- Apr 28, 2007
- 424
- 1
You are correct. It does say 20 is posted. But I've not gotten anything on my end.
Must have just been optimism, and there was an interruption. Maybe today?
Must have just been optimism, and there was an interruption. Maybe today?
JD_MXRacer
Member
- Nov 27, 2006
- 411
- 0
hopefully today lol
- May 31, 2002
- 1,229
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Don't worry, we will let you know if you miss something :nener:olderndirtmom said:
dirtbike_freak
Member
- Dec 10, 2006
- 211
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- Thread starter
- #471
Hey guys- I know everyone will be happy to hear this- I haven't gotten it done yet. I've been gone all weekend, and haven't finished the whole thing. My english teacher would never have enough time to read this, and if she did I wouldn't want her putting it on the over-head and have all the ther kids reading it.
- Dec 21, 2006
- 654
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This is how this story got started.
1- Boy gets bored and types a chapter of a story he made up
2- Boy posts it on the web
3-everyone goes crazy over it
4- Boy writes 19 more chapters
5- If boy decides to quit writing, there will be over 100 people from this thread showing up at his house to kill him.
1- Boy gets bored and types a chapter of a story he made up
2- Boy posts it on the web
3-everyone goes crazy over it
4- Boy writes 19 more chapters
5- If boy decides to quit writing, there will be over 100 people from this thread showing up at his house to kill him.
dirtbike_freak
Member
- Dec 10, 2006
- 211
- 0
- Thread starter
- #475
I Finished It And I Will Have It Posted As Soon As Olderndirtmom Sends It Back To Me!
